A long chain reaction

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I was a real wild mind. My imagination soared in my 20's, making me believe my life will start out really cool and I'll be happy with what I do. I'll embrace life as an independent adult, traveling, being in a relationship, and thriving in the art world.Or so I thought. But it was a hit and miss. Thing is, my mind went out of way crazy, and I got carried away and overindulged with the emotions, sounds, and imagery stimulating in my head, whenever I listened to loud music. Causing me to lose concentration on everyday life, putting people off, and make all sorts of mistakes. As much as it made me feel so good, it was a distraction

My life went on another path I did not expect at all. After College, I had plans in the business world of design, but my mind seemed to be a million miles away. There was an incident when I came home from an interview, which could've been avoided if I hadn't been out of touch with reality. My mom was furious and she told me I'd get nowhere in life, being the way I was. Apparently, I took her word for it, which I wish I hadn't, because it coloured the next 16 years of life, which could've been so much better, if I confided in myself and went ahead with my plans—and dropped these meaningless criticisms. Sometimes all it takes is WORDS to change my life. 

Anyway, I am making segway to return to college, and start over. My career in design didn't work out as planned, and no I haven't traveled, I didn't buy a house, I didn't get married, I have no kids. But I'm making fresh new start. 

It's not a matter of how awake and alert you are—but it's who you effect and touch, and the consequences that arise from it. People are usually accustomed to a clear, grounded, down to earth state of mind—but not a wild mind. Apparently, it's a very offensive thing to many out there. That is why I've been trying to suppress it down, because I still want to have a life.