Have you felt the MD get worse with age?

[Sakshi]

I always thought that as I grow up, the pacing and daydreaming would get better as I grow up. but I feel that the situation has gotten even worse. I am  years old and have been daydreaming ever since I can remember. It's embarrassing and humiliating for an adult to be pacing all around the house and everyone knows no matter how much secrecy I might try to keep. It is painful. I can't study or maintain a hobby because I cannot concentrate for too long. I have to pace every  min or so.

Does anyone else feel the same way?

[Pat]

It doesn't show your age guess it should be censored for how long have u been DD

[Geingart]

I feel the same way.

I have periods where I can control a bit MD, and other periods where I expend half of the day daydreaming. I just can hope that one day I will control it. Perhaps we don't try harder, perhaps is lack of willpower, I don't know.

But this is our war. Beat or control MD is the most important thing that we must to do in our live, and surrender is not an option. We must to take breath, and fight to have a few minutes clear before to go to sleep, to plan what we can do tomorrow to have at least a few hour of peace the next morning. 

I'm going to try. Just try is already a bit success.

[Sakshi]

I have been fighting this war for so long now. I have the will power and I do try very hard. I also suffer from ADD and from what I have learned from my research is that these things show a little problems in the brain that cannot be corrected. Considering that I am bound to MD for life and it is a frightening life indeed.

[Silver Swan]

I've been doing MDD since 12, and almost fully woke up from this. So I don't pace and dance around like I used to. Still, I look back at many years where all I did was living imaginary lives in my head. I was used to being surrounded by peers at school, but now that I'm in adulthood and freelance at home, I spend too much time away from people! In fact, I spend my daily life feeling very scared that my life has no real purpose in the real world, and I have no clue who I really am. I didn't work on these things when I lived in my head during my youth. I recently just turned 33 years old, so I actually feel like what I did before was very silly and really effected my life to an extent it's not funny anymore. I ridiculously still live at home with my parents, which is absurd for my age, but it's probably all because of my MDD. I honestly wished that I looked up MDD back in my teens or early college years, so I would learn in advance what I'm really doing to my mental health. I used to work at a burger and ice cream diner in my early 20's, where customers and staff have actually caught me daydreaming. It was so embarrassing each time that I hid away in the bathroom or the tray sanitizing stall, until I felt strong enough to show my face again. You just don't daydream in public.

[Sakshi]

Even if you had tried to look up MD you would have not found anything. Any information about it is only recently available and that to not to a great extent. Doctors still dont want to acknowledge this condition. I have read accounts from people who have spent their entire life in this. 

I am really curious to find out how you 'woke up' from it? I have been doing it since I was very little - ever since I can remember.

Silver Swan said:

I've been doing MDD since 12, and almost fully woke up from this. So I don't pace and dance around like I used to. Still, I look back at many years where all I did was living imaginary lives in my head. I was used to being surrounded by peers at school, but now that I'm in adulthood and freelance at home, I spend too much time away from people! In fact, I spend my daily life feeling very scared that my life has no real purpose in the real world, and I have no clue who I really am. I didn't work on these things when I lived in my head during my youth. I recently just turned 33 years old, so I actually feel like what I did before was very silly and really effected my life to an extent it's not funny anymore. I ridiculously still live at home with my parents, which is absurd for my age, but it's probably all because of my MDD. I honestly wished that I looked up MDD back in my teens or early college years, so I would learn in advance what I'm really doing to my mental health. I used to work at a burger and ice cream diner in my early 20's, where customers and staff have actually caught me daydreaming. It was so embarrassing each time that I hid away in the bathroom or the tray sanitizing stall, until I felt strong enough to show my face again. You just don't daydream in public.

[Silver Swan]

A few factors made me quit my MDD. I live in a very stern family. My mom's sort of a dragon lady, so when she discovered my MDD and really outburst as a result, it just felt as if my life was over. I also have autism spectrum disorder, so it was harder to conceal my MDD, so everybody was easily finding out I was doing it, especially when I wasn't listening up. I can tell you, some of them overreacted in a way that it was distressing or upsetting, or I did something quite bad. I always happened to be in the wrong crowd to understand this sort of thing. It greatly impacted my relationships and bondings with people. People that I befriended for a short period, they soon broke apart from me, either because I was just so quiet, or I wasn't listening, maybe I appeared very rude, or I was laughing at some unseen person or event going on somewhere else. I learned late in the game that you must be a 'sane' and 'normal' looking person for anybody to want to friend or date, or else everyone will think your a creep.
I was always a very pretty girl, but that didn't even cut it. And being all quiet, with a funny grin and dazed in the eyes...Na ah.
Last thing, my family actually expects me to be independent and flee at some point. So I'm doing everything to make myself financially ready, but I need a better job with higher income, so I really have to shape up. That means not daydreaming.

[Sakshi]

I can relate to a lot of that

Silver Swan said:

A few factors made me quit my MDD. I live in a very stern family. My mom's sort of a dragon lady, so when she discovered my MDD and really outburst as a result, it just felt as if my life was over. I also have autism spectrum disorder, so it was harder to conceal my MDD, so everybody was easily finding out I was doing it, especially when I wasn't listening up. I can tell you, some of them overreacted in a way that it was distressing or upsetting, or I did something quite bad. I always happened to be in the wrong crowd to understand this sort of thing. It greatly impacted my relationships and bondings with people. People that I befriended for a short period, they soon broke apart from me, either because I was just so quiet, or I wasn't listening, maybe I appeared very rude, or I was laughing at some unseen person or event going on somewhere else. I learned late in the game that you must be a 'sane' and 'normal' looking person for anybody to want to friend or date, or else everyone will think your a creep.
I was always a very pretty girl, but that didn't even cut it. And being all quiet, with a funny grin and dazed in the eyes...Na ah.
Last thing, my family actually expects me to be independent and flee at some point. So I'm doing everything to make myself financially ready, but I need a better job with higher income, so I really have to shape up. That means not daydreaming.

[Silver Swan]

Has anyone felt tired as they age after years of MDD?

[DreamySun]

I feel very related to your story. Looking to the past, I think I started with MDD when I was around 10 and now I'm 34, still living with my parents and with a poor social life. Sometimes I feel like I've wasted my life and wish I could've discovered this a long time ago. Right now I still haven't tell anything to my family, cause even that I'm relieved for finally knowing was going on with me, I still don't know how to explain them.

Silver Swan said:

I've been doing MDD since 12, and almost fully woke up from this. So I don't pace and dance around like I used to. Still, I look back at many years where all I did was living imaginary lives in my head. I was used to being surrounded by peers at school, but now that I'm in adulthood and freelance at home, I spend too much time away from people! In fact, I spend my daily life feeling very scared that my life has no real purpose in the real world, and I have no clue who I really am. I didn't work on these things when I lived in my head during my youth. I recently just turned 33 years old, so I actually feel like what I did before was very silly and really effected my life to an extent it's not funny anymore. I ridiculously still live at home with my parents, which is absurd for my age, but it's probably all because of my MDD. I honestly wished that I looked up MDD back in my teens or early college years, so I would learn in advance what I'm really doing to my mental health. I used to work at a burger and ice cream diner in my early 20's, where customers and staff have actually caught me daydreaming. It was so embarrassing each time that I hid away in the bathroom or the tray sanitizing stall, until I felt strong enough to show my face again. You just don't daydream in public.

[Sakshi]

Yeah my energy level has gone down considerably. I feel tired all the time. Even the things I used to have an interest in don't attract me anymore. I always feel dull and my only source of a little stimulation is when I daydream which inturn makes me even more tired

Silver Swan said:

Has anyone felt tired as they age after years of MDD?

[Silver Swan]

My family knew about my daydreaming for a while now. Though, they have no awareness about MDD, but still my mom has an idea that I can't achieve pursuing my own independent life because I daydream too often. It's soul crushing because I wanted to be on my own for years, at least since 18, but I never realized that starting MDD would eventually be harmful to my own wishes. So, I'm really mad at myself right now. You just don't light a match when it comes to real life.

[Silver Swan]

My head started feeling dull and tired only recently, sometimes my frontal cortex feels sore. It could be my environment, since I sleep and work in an airless room, with no contact to fresh air and sunshine, and very little exercise. I am always keeping productive in my freelance on a daily basis. However, the work I currently do isn't challenging enough for my brain, so I'm urgently looking for a better job.