Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Hello everyone.
My name is Priyanka, I am 17 years old and my life has considerably been fucked up.
I had my end-of-term examinations and these are very important as my parents want me to study in a good college so I cannot be anything less than a straight-A student.
But then I started grooving to music late in the night, (as its the only the only time you can do weird stuff without anyone's judgement) as I had this epic daydream that I JUST wanted to wrap up. And now, curse all of it, I forgot everything and researched, specific details and looked up so many stimulatory images on Pinterest and Instagram. This 'mini passion project' of my own had me ditching the books and depriving myself of sleep just to live something crazy in my head.
This exam daydreaming has continued for the 3rd year in a row and I am close to failing my exams which could very well screw up my future. ( I live in a country which focuses a lot on the grade system).
I keep losing everyone's faith in me. I desperately wish that I could the the version of myself that I've constructed in my head: brilliant, beautiful achieving person with a lot of friends and being a hero in my community.
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I can only add that regarding exams in school, I was able to manage them quite well, but i think it was only due to the strategy I used. My daydreams have been with me since before i started school, but when I did need to read, do math, study, take exams, etc., I appointed myself the star of my daydream. So, others in my dream were watching me, marveling at my tenacity and hard work. They could take breaks, get a snack, etc,, but i would keep studying, working to learn the material or to complete the tests. Then, when i was done, we’d celebrate together. Even if I was celebrating with actual friends or roommates, they could come too, sometimes. My daydream characters fit right in with my actual friends. Though, my real friends don’t meet them.
Don’t let things get you down. Try new approaches and remember to keep the faith. I won’t let this trait that I have define who I am. I believe anything is possible. I got through college and graduate school. My question is are there professional therapists, who know how to support a patient who presents with this?
When I was your age, a speaker came to our school and gave us a lecture on studying for exams. She gave us this philosophical phrase, "To not study and have fun at the same time." She then told us a story of a friend who had to study for a college exam. She went on vacation with her friend, looking forward to having fun, but she hadn't realized and was confused, when her friend opened a text book while they were sun bathing on the beach, that her friend was actually there to study. When they came back to college, her friend failed the test.
Maybe having a clear goal will help you.
You should try to think why are you giving these exam, what career will you choose after them, and what college. Will you be happy in that career?
Sort out your future plan and confirm that these are your dreams too and not just your parents'
After that getting motivated will be easy. It then comes down to being a responsible person. Happiness come after hardwork.
And looking back at my life, I can tell you, the regret of not trying hard enough does hit you painfully.
After your exams are over, try to figure out what was it that you were avoiding desperately. And doing intense daydreaming to escape from it.
Something bothered you. You need to know what. Maybe it's the exam pressure or your parents expectations.
There are other ways to deal with these than Md. Like meditation and stress management.
Wish you the best
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