Mum of Day Dreamer

[Mrs Rummiya]

Hello,

I am here for my daughter who has DD issues! My D has boy band members who are her internal friends, they come and go depending on the situation. This has been going on for a while, for about 8 years and started as a response to a lot of stress. They have go one to be around more when she's stressed but also i think they are a a habit.

They can be unhelpful and unpleasant too at times and we have had to chat about managing them and I get pretty fed up with them being a round, they are not that nice at times and i can be parenting several people!!

I have been reading about MDD for  while. I was telling a friend of mine who has high anxiety and she came out and told me that she too has a group of internal voices that come and go depending on how stressed she is. 

I would love to hear and advice and your experiences. My D has said she would like to make them go away at times but can't. 

Thanks in advance. 

[Melanie]

Mrs Rummiya,

It made me so happy to see the parent of a maladaptive daydreamer here. I recently told my parents about my lifelong maladaptive daydreaming, and, like you, they're trying to help me, but sometimes they don't know how. As someone who understands what your daughter is going through, I encourage you to be patient with her. Ask as many questions as you can about her experiences, always try to be curious rather than judgmental, and continue to read about MDD. Being able to speak to you openly about MDD will help your daughter so much. I would also encourage you to never underplay her experiences. You may be tempted to do so because what she's experiencing is imaginary, but as a person like your daughter struggling with this disorder, I can assure you that our daydream characters and worlds are very real and dear to us, and they are incredibly difficult to leave behind.

If you have any questions or need any advice, please feel free to reach out to me.

[Mrs Rummiya]

Hello,

Thank you so much for you response. I totally respect my D's internal life and that it is very important to her. I don't want it to go away, it's about managing it in a positive way and not letting it take her over, which it can do. When this happens it causes problems as she can start chatting away and 'acting' out in public which is not good. My D gets this and appreciates this now. It's hard as she is confused and ashamed about their MDD even thought I have told her that it's pretty normal and lots of people have this. She does need to learn to manage it, so any tips would be very helpful. 

Melanie said:

Mrs Rummiya,

It made me so happy to see the parent of a maladaptive daydreamer here. I recently told my parents about my lifelong maladaptive daydreaming, and, like you, they're trying to help me, but sometimes they don't know how. As someone who understands what your daughter is going through, I encourage you to be patient with her. Ask as many questions as you can about her experiences, always try to be curious rather than judgmental, and continue to read about MDD. Being able to speak to you openly about MDD will help your daughter so much. I would also encourage you to never underplay her experiences. You may be tempted to do so because what she's experiencing is imaginary, but as a person like your daughter struggling with this disorder, I can assure you that our daydream characters and worlds are very real and dear to us, and they are incredibly difficult to leave behind.

If you have any questions or need any advice, please feel free to reach out to me.

[Melanie]

I must admit I got emotional hearing how you respect your daughter's internal life. I can't say the same for my parents, who pressure me to fix myself and be normal without understanding or caring for my internal world. Your daughter is very lucky to have you, and I believe with your support she'll make great improvements in her life. A lot of maladaptive daydreamers, including me, feel very embarrassed and ashamed of their behavior, and very confused about how to recover, but I believe it's possible. I've found some tips that help me manage my MD, and I'm thinking of making a post here about that. I'll be sure you see it!