Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
It's impossible to make a blanket definition of creativity for every individual out there. But if I had the nerve, which I boast, then it would definitely include the word 'exposure'.
Some people claim that MD enables them to be more creative. I held that opinion once, too. The idea goes that only the state of being triggered into excessive daydreaming provides a suitable environment for your imagination to take shape.
How?
Abstract concepts and desires are lying at the bottom of your consciousness until a sudden jolt occurs, drawing back all mental limitations like water from the shore. You can see every starfish and wriggly weed that you wouldn't be able to approach without diving equipment. Of course, if you keep hanging out there, you might become the one who divers are searching for.
Walking away as fast as possible sounds like common sense with tsunami, but because we aren't at risk of being literally hit by a heavy body of water after over-daydreaming, the consequences appear tolerable in comparison. I imagine a typical episode of MD as tsunami because of the weight of emotional suppression that people drop on their inner selves. Suffocated feelings and dreams had just been released, given a chance to breathe, and hope to be discovered, only to be slammed flat back into the ground. While I'm personally proud of coming up with that visual interpretation, I know all too well as a former MDer that beautiful words can't hold a candle to the trigger. If anything, they might set off an MD episode instead of prompting a person to reflect on it in silence.
Try telling an MDer that her or his habit is harmful in the long-term and they'll hardly raise an objection. The only counterargument that might slip into their defense is—you guessed it—that MD gives them ideas which they believe they wouldn't come up with the other way.
Is that so? Have you tried that 'other way'? Not hypothetically, but in practice? How do you compare one outcome with another if you have never been truly free from triggers?
In that lies the paradox of MD: it's grip is not strong enough to lose touch with reality, but it isn't an open palm either. In colloquial terms, it's mid. First, you can't decide whether it's good or bad for you, then, the longer your indecision lasts, the more paranoid your thoughts about taking control may get.
What you hold dear, you will leave behind. To gain freedom means to lose your creative powers. To reveal your ideas means to let your imagination be seen by another human, allowing the possibility of your fantasies or thoughts be distorted, misunderstood, lashed out at, or, worst of all, completely ignored. If there were a doomsday scenario top-tier among MDers, this one would certainly make it into the top three.
There is no quick solution. If you're wondering whether you will actually lose your creativity after quitting MD—no, you won't, because that's not how creative minds work. You either use it or not—that's how it works.
It will feel like all cool ideas are escaping from you, but only for so long. One positive lesson to look forward to is that not all ideas are worth retaining. When your clear up your mind, you get to see what's been truly important for you this whole time, and what was just rubbish to fill in the MD session. Think of it as gum used to plug the hole in a tire. Sure, it will last for some time, but you'll need to replace it eventually because driving like that is putting your life at risk.
We already have two metaphors—first tsunami, and now a punctured tire. Again, not going to physically stop you from MDing, and not meant to. All I wrote so far is for reflection purposes only, as I am here not to impose my stance on you or give you advice that only a professional can provide sometimes.
In any case, battling MD has 90% to do with observation and solid knowledge of your patterns, and only 10% with your will. I believe that we human beings cherish our desire to be happy more than anything else, and that we can do almost anything with enough evidence that gives us confidence in our ability to change. Simply writing one sentence on a sticky note, utilizing mindfulness apps to choose an emoji that correlates with your mood, making a 5-10 second voice memo before or after an MD episode isn't laziness—it's shortcuts to match the speed of your trigger and they are meant to be as low-effort as you can make. Essentially, it's fighting witchcraft with sorcery, and boy is that a battle to behold. You'll see for yourself in how many interesting directions it goes when it becomes a hobby.
There are many methods for developing MD-awareness further, like keeping a diary—particularly daydreaming logs to reflect on your unique behavior. Again: reflection =/= 800-1000 words. It has little to do with the quantity that you produce, but the lion's share depends on the quality. You need to stop and put thought into it, even if it's just one specific word. Then do whatever you want as long as you had thought at least for a minute about yourself today and not your dreams, chores, tasks and other burdens.
Fair warning: self-MD-research can be a bit boring, but it's a must, especially if you're stuck in a state when you want to be creative, but your mind goes blank the moment you need to organize your ideas. So, I'll say it one last time: 10% your will, 90% your observation. Common belief as if MDers lack the backbone to resist the triggers comes from the same tree as the misconception that you could've un-depressed yourself a long time ago if only you got more sunlight. In short, it comes from ignorance. It's okay when most people are ignorant about you, but you should never be ignorant about yourself.
And, in case you're looking for a third metaphor, you won't find it. I daresay I have something better.
When someone claims that MD helps them to be more creative, it's actually pretty damn hard to come up with a comeback. Before I got the urge to write this post, I had this light bulb above my head on how I might've responded to that off the top of my head. Maybe it's not as beautiful as a metaphor, yet it has a lot of thisness. This is how the answer feels it should be, and I won't be offended if you find it a bit too cryptic for an article that is meant to clear things up for you.
Take for example a simple word. Say, chair. Now say it again. And again. Keep repeating it like a Buddhist monk. Focus on the word. Chair. Chair. Chair... You know this weird phenomenon. You keep saying the same ridiculously easy word you learned as soon as you could talk, and then—blank. Nada. Definition not found. It's not like you really forgot what 'chair' means, but it doesn't make sense to you either. Somehow, saying the same thing over and over again causes it to lose meaning.
Turns out it's called semantic satiation. It's a very elegant term from psychology and I'm happy that I could share this little fact that I've learned just now. Really the things that bring you joy are best when unexpected.
Perhaps, someday in the future, when maladaptive daydreaming will be widely recognized, a scholar will borrow the phraseology and write a paper on 'Creative Satiation'. I sure hope that time comes sooner than later.
© 2024 Created by Valeria Franco.
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