Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Hello everyone! I'm Shelly and I think I have figured out all the reasons I DD.
1. I'm overweight and always have been. I was teased and taunted mercilessly as a child and have still been bullied as an adult. I think I come off as being too nice to people and that causes them to feel they can walk over me.
2. I suffer from an embarrassing skin condition that is caused from my skin rubbing together and it has caused me major depression and has made me fear sexual intimacy.
3. I grew up poor and always went without. Mom always said we'd have everything we needed one day and I just fancied what that one day would look like and never stopped.
4. I have never understood the concept of "frenimies" and people always seem to want to compete with me. I have never understood why a friend would view me as their competition. I have had one too many friends break my heart.
5. Not to sound stuck up, but I am a very intellectual person. I love to talk about and explore all sorts of heavy concepts and my family just doesn't I am always dismissed, ignored or asked to change the subject. Therefore, the only people I can have this conversation with are the characters in my head.
6.I feel I am very creative but I feel incredibly anxious and impatient when it comes to expressing my creativity. I have started a million stories that I have never finished as I feel too fidgety and nervous to actually stay consistent.
7. I am a perfectionist and I feel that everything has to be absolutely perfect before I can change or begin anything new so DD'ing helps me to imagine what it will be like. I swear it's like I love the dream or the idea of a thing more so than it's manifestation.
8. There are so many things I want to do or be that I just don't have access or knowledge to do, so I just imagine what it is like.
9. I plan obsessively. Most of my DD's are things that I actually believe will happen and planing them is a way for me to predict outcomes and situations. I think this is also linked to my anxiety. I am absolutely never in a state of calm. Ever. I am never relaxed or at peace. My thoughts are never in the present.
10. I just don't know what a normal person is supposed to think. I don't know what having a regular mind is like. My DD is just normal to me. I can't say that I love it. I don't. But I do fear changing. Even though I want to so badly. I fear the change because I don't know who I will be. DD'ing is odd because while you feel powerless and out of control, it also gives you outcomes and situations that you can control. I try to predict how I will be in the future- how I will act, how I will behave- by DD'ing. I am incredibly awkward and have embarrassed myself so many times that I fear people talking about me and saying hurtful things so I am afraid of spontaneity.
Well, I am sure there many more but these are the top ones. Can anybody else relate to any of this? What are your reasons?