Why can't you just deal with life!

[Kristen]

Some people abuse drugs to deal with life

                                       ... Other people daydream

                                                            

So I have this wonderful(sarcasm) older brother that at the moment is doing heroin. Like big time, waste your life away, can't live with out it, heroin addiction. I, being the soulless little "good child" I am, am starting to get really annoyed with my brothers inability to deal with life in a normal way.   

So lets just do a little recap of from Christmas to now:

Brother gets dumped by psycho girlfriend

She get a restraining order for him

She comes to his place

She calls the cops after they get in (another) fight

Brother goes to jail

Grandma bales him out

Brother spends 3 days trying to get off heroin at a ski resort 

Crappy snow, no skiing, we go home

Brother gets charges dropped

Brother spends $300 trusty trust fund bucks on my drugs

Brother spends $500 trust fund bucks on my drugs

Brother tries out detox for a whole 6 hours!

Brother is currently have an emotional break down that our grandma has to take care of because my mother is useless and sucks at being a mom.

 

I just don't get it. My WHOLE LIFE I have sat and watched my brother destroy his life. He has had all the support we can give him. Professional help. But nope. He would rather do drugs and go into constant ALL CAPS RAGES, over everything.

I get it. He had a bad childhood. So did I. Me both have the same mother. We both had to be raised by her. What I don't get is why he lets that destroy him. Why does he still crave her love and attention, while I turned my back on her and rejected her?

Why can't he just go out, buy an ipod, a good book, and Daydream his worries away. I do it and my life is wonderful! No one has to worry that you'll die because its all in your head. Do it right and people will even think you're normal and weren't forever scared my your childhood.

Ugh. Sorry.I had to rant.