Who am i now that i have md?

[Ris Smith]

So i'm 22, and for all of my life i've considered myself to have an overactive imagination - something in which i've never fully admitted to anyone. i will, however,  admit that it caused me problems on numerous occasions, but i did my best to withold my day dreaming as much as possible and to seem as social as possible (even though most times i'd rather be alone just lost in my thoughts). 

 

but now i've found this forum, and i'll admit i'm relieved to see that there are so many people on here that are in the same situation i'm in. i've felt like my md was simple childishness that i simply hadn't matured or grown out of and as a result i've been battling against it; only really zoning out when i'm alone with nothing to do. but now that its something real i worry that i might use this as a handycap and allow myself to abandon the social life i worked so hard to create.

 

i know this sounds alittle crazy, my thoughts are all over the place. i guess, what i'm really trying to ask is, now that you have been self-diagnosed, have you noticed any changes? has your md gotten worse because you can now identify it with people? has this now become a way in which you identify yourself, like how someone with adhd would?

 

bare with me as this is my first blog, and thanks much for reading.  :]

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

If the main danger of labels is that we focus too much on them and get caught up in them......how does changing the label change that?  We have to shift our perspective.  WHATEVER we call it, it needs to be managed.  It's no different if we call it a condition, crutch, addiction, way of thinking, or whatever.  If we're focusing on the word then changing the words won't fix that problem.  I've been labeled many things & while all of them seemed to describe something appropriate about me.........none of them really encompassed any of my problems.  It doesn't matter what you call us.  If people are getting stuck on the words then that's a separate issue they need to overcome.  I take labels for what they are......reference points to look stuff up.......and really no more than that.  If we change the labels too much then A) We're missing the point (understanding our brains and how to work with them) and focusing on a triviality  B) We'll make it harder to look things up and find information.  It's like writing an essay and handing it to someone for critique.........and all they do is point out your typos and completely miss what you were actually saying.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

It's helped me to control it a little better and given me a cause to work on.  Working on this project has inspired me because I can do something with this.  I don't have my own judgment weighing me down anymore.  I'm starting to flaunt who I am and really stand up to anyone who suggests I do otherwise.  I still daydream, but I have more confidence in the outer world and am therefore more engaged.  I still have problems in school and everything, but I still feel a lot better about myself.  This has been a big change in itself.

[Creator]

I'd have to say, finding out my daydreaming is an actual condition has really enabled me to daydream more. Now that I know it's not insanity, it doesn't seem so wierd.

[Penguin]

Diagnosing it made me see my compulsive fantasizing as something very mundane, something I can pinpoint and something I can change. A humbling experience, not an enabling one ;)