what the counsellor said

[ashlee]

i saw a counsellor today to talk about stuff.
We discussed self esteem, anxiety, depression,daydreaming, etc.

to explain md I  let her read that little blurb about md on the home page of wildminds. She wasnt shocked freaked out and said i was normal. She said That I have social anxiety and self esteem issues and my way of coping with it is daydreaming. She says next time i see her we are going to work on those things, and she said I have to “forget your fantasy world and live in reality” and to get a better coping mechanism.

Hm well i can’t really picture my life without daydreaming because i have been ding it all my life, but she says I have to stop :/
lol nah

but i did get to vent a lot out loud which felt good.

[Dusty]

I agree with what Iris said. Coping mechanisms of any form tend not to be healthy and develop into addictions. What really needs to happen is to try to think (maybe talk with the counsellor) about the root of what might make you want to escape from reality?

I'm not sure of your circumstances, but as a teenager I lived on a highway pretty much in the middle of nowhere and there was literally nowhere I could have walked to, and no busses. At the same time I was also rejected by most people at school so it was really hard to find purpose or meaning in the external world or have any sort of life. Hence I turned to my DD's and I don't really blame myself back then.

Now that I'm an adult, people usually don't reject me and I live in locations where I can walk and bus to most places, so no more excuses. If you can, try to find things/people in the real world that you feel a connection to. That is the most important part of getting over DD's and obsessions in my experience. At the same time, it can be hard to find things you feel a connection to if you have little freedom in your life, or maybe lack the social skills needed to be accepted into a meaningful social setting. It really comes down to making the most of the hand you're dealt and you usually have more options when you get older. (That was a bit of a tangent)

[Iris]

If it were so easy to stop daydreaming, this website wouldn't exist.

Your counsellor is right, that it is better for you to live in reality - but how? What is a better coping mechanism? Or is any coping mechanism just another escape from the problems of reality?

You are still young, you enjoy the safety of your daydream-world. But I, as a long-time daydreamer, can tell you, it is better without.

It seems, that you did get along with your counsellor, so give her ideas a try. It was good, that you were so open. I wish you all the best.

[Melissa]

I feel like that too. I'd like to deal with the anxiety, but tell me I shouldn't DD and I think, Why? I don't think all my DD is because of anxiety.

 

I do however think it's good to find other coping mechanisms. Be open minded. I know there are some nights I can't relax without drinking tea, and I hate tea, but DD doesn't help me calm down it just helps me forget or makes me go over my issues over and over, and I know that's when I need to find a way calm down.

 

 

[ashlee]

i never said it destroyed my life, when did i ever say that

[ashlee]

im not going to counselling for md.
shes just saying i should learn to not daydreaming and getting a better coping mechanism