What's My Motivation?

[Erin Kaye]

I wonder, reading through so many new-entry blogs, how most of us got here.  According to the study, most of us had fairly decent childhoods, little to no trauma that would usually act as the initial motivation for escapism.  I'm no different - I had (still have) good, loving parents, a middle-class upbringing, and a good education.  I will admit to having an addictive personality, as well as a tendency to want things to be more "perfect" than they can be in real life (i.e. I'm a perfectionist).

What I'm really wondering is if we maladaptive daydreamers are in some way the result of media and/or society. In the same way that media is being blamed for the eruption of eating disorders, could it also be blamed for making us want more than we have?  I would venture to guess that the majority of alternate lives being lived out by people on this site are lives in which they are 1) loved, 2) admired/adored (in other words, famous) 3) respected, and of course 4) more physically, emotionally, & mentally desirable than they perceive themselves in real life.  These are, of course, normal desires, but the extent to which we pursue them in our minds takes our craving and/or need for them to an abnormal level.  

Media tells us we should want these things, we deserve these things, and by golly, the American dream practically promises that we'll have these things!  Aren't we told that an inalienable human right is the "pursuit of happiness"?  Well, we're pursuing it in our heads - and getting it, too.  If it's not real, well that's not our fault.  The system didn't deliver on it's promise in real life, so we're getting it where we can.  It's easier this way, anyway.  No muss, no fuss, no scary social interaction that might have painful unintended outcomes.

I guess I'm really just to understand why so many of us do what we obviously don't want to do.  We're secretive about it - we think we're crazy - we know others won't understand.  We try to stop and find we can't.  And then we read an article and suddenly we're just like a whole lot of other people... and we're just as suddenly talking to one another, interacting with people outside our daydreams and storylines.  Getting out of our heads, which is the hardest thing for a lot of us to do. 

I'm rambling now, and this blog has lost all sense of focus, which is what I get for trying to intellectualize something I don't fully understand.

[Larry Baer]

The American dream is just a daydream more cars, boats, houses, motorcycles I am about to retire and I never achieved my goals in life because I was always daydreaming about how my life should be.

[Tila]

Thanks JoJenna. :) I have just been there, and still do go there too often.

[M. Derp Peterséns]

Great observation. Enjoyed reading it all the way through.

I am not sure if this has been brought up in earlier blog posts, but honestly do not believe so (fairly ignorant). Media had nothing to do with why I began daydreaming but it sure has given me more reasons to escape the bitter reality. Why? Well this is why: You are not allowed to be average and happy. Wait, what? But most people are average, this means they can't be happy? - Of course they can, and should.

Living is nothing automatic and requires a lot of actions (call me Mr. Obvious) and most of these actions are repetitive, utterly dreadful. Goals, fantasies and dreams helps many to endure this boredom and to maintain hopeful. With Media constantly reminding us of the few very "successful" people and how AAAABNORMALLY amazing they are, it is not always easy to look in the mirror or to be happy over smaller achievements. At least not for me. In real I always compare myself to others, even if there is nothing in common. Comparing myself to those almost unearthly like creatures is down right masochistic, but I do it every f***ing time. I don't care for 15 minutes of fame, I care for a good and meaningful life.

Ughh this whole comment went to crap, was heading in a whole different direction but got never mind that now.

P.S  Perfectionist & Daydreams = This... Is... EEEEEEEPIIIIIIIC!

Perfectionist & Reality = #!\@%"!=)£!?&*@#¤%/(

[Tila]

The American dream has to be only a tiny part of the picture....there are people from every country on this site. That said, America is the dominant cultural influence worldwide....they can still watch our TV shows, obsess over our celebrities. Tragically, they often view mainstream American culture as better than their own local flavor. (I lived in the UK for a few months, that is my only reference point.) 

I think its just like this recipe of certain personalities prone to escapism, addiction, introversion, and a vivid imagination, raised in just the right (or wrong) environment that lets those inner worlds take shape. It makes just as perfect sense that a peaceful environment fosters MD. Extreme stress or trauma could jolt a child awake in the middle of a DD, maybe scaring them away from their habit for life. Early responsibility that forces children to grow up fast could also kill it. Long hours alone laying on your bed, safe in your bubble.....that is where the inertia is born.