What happens when you try to stop daydreaming?

[johnny joe]

I started controlling it about a month ago. When I stopped daydreaming I hit this brick wall where all of these relevant facts about my real life were suddenly apparent. I have wasted more than half of my waking life in a fantasy world and it is too embarrassing to tell anyone so I am completely alone in fixing this problem. I have nothing to show for at age 23 and now I'm left to scramble around and pick up the pieces of my life that I let fall apart. Every wasted opportunity, every unaccomplished goal, every night that I spent alone at home when I could have gone out, it all hit me at once. An anesthetic dose of reality, painfully numbing, and I have nothing but an uphill battle to face from here on.

Basically, I got really depressed to a point that could be clinically diagnosed. I felt lonelier than ever. I felt extremely bored and unable to focus on anything (or just aware of my inability to stay focused on tasks). I felt hopeless looking into the future. I felt empty. I resented myself over every wasted moment and I imagined how I could be better off now if I had made other decisions and didn't daydream so much. Constantly sad I felt like bawling every day. I felt like the world had defeated me a long long time ago but I was just coming around to realize it. I felt like I had awoken form a  very long coma. I felt like giving up.

Its gotten better. Its pretty much just a matter of adjusting to a new lifestyle. I'm getting used to boredom and I'm getting used to facing my emotions directly. I don't get as sad as I was a month ago and I've learned to weave motivation from desire and dysphoria.

I'm not looking for comfort here I'm going through my own process and I think I will be okay. What I'm asking for is for people to share their experiences of what happens when they stop or try to stop daydreaming. Is it just me that gets depressed or does it happen to most MD'ers? Are you depressed because you miss your world or because there are certain things about the real world that make you depressed when you have to face them? When you fail to stop, how is it that you end up back where you were? Do you experience any of the feelings that I mentioned above? Can you mention any others?  

[Mynx]

I feel the same exact way at 22 today! I feel like I'm missing out on life imagining a life that is never going to happen. All the bad grades in school, wasted time, other un accomplished goals. I'm tired of it. I just want to stop and fulfill some of these goals instead of imagining them. I spend so much time daydreaming my goals instead of focusing to make them reality.

[johnny joe]

I think its a matter of acting in spite of a lack of motivation. Doing something because you know it will benefit you and then simply trusting yourself and ignoring the unpleasantness of doing something that you are not motivated to do. If you persevere, later when you cash in on the benefit the recovery process will begin to unfold by itself

[Rick]

When i stop daydreaming it takes a lot of effort to resist and my MD ultimately comes back with a vengeance.  The trick is attracting your interest towards something else.  Its about intrinsic motivation and not extrinsic motivation.  If anyone can figure out how to do that, i'll give them a check.

[johnny joe]

Hey Marla, I think you're one of the lucky ones. I've read that a lot of people went to therapy or the doctor and they weren't very helpful. It may require a lot of commitment and perseverance from the individual and yes counselling is very important. 

I think where we differ is that I didn't experience a resurgence of repressed memories. I've been Mding longer than I can remember and I don't think it was for a specific reason I think I was just born that way so now I'm wondering if there are different causes of this condition.

[johnny joe]

Hey Sophie, they might be related. Maladaptive daydreamers tend to stop daydreaming when they are experiencing real life stressors that can't be ignored. I'm sorry about your mum I hope she's okay

[Marla Singer]

the exact same thing happened to me when i stopped daydreaming. I have learnt a lot about myself in the last 8 months, i started attending councelling at university and it is the best thing i have ever done. You NEED to go if you want to get better. My councellor helped me to fix my life, and as i fixed my life i felt the need to daydream less and less, without trying. I realised that i daydreamed to avoid thinking about things, i started daydreaming because my parents divorced and my mum was an alcoholic, i was a really unhappy lonely child so i started pretending things were different because it gave me an escape from my sad reality. The worst part of the counselling process is stage i am in now, i have started to remember repressed memories from when i was younger, my daydreaming stopped me from remembering. So to answer your above questions i have learned that MD is a way of coping with depressing, deal with your depression and you will stop mding

[Sophie]

I stopped MDing today - my mum got taken away in an ambulance and no one cares, not sure if these are related