Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
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Their minds are also filled with thoughts when they are sitting Idle. Their minds are not empty or calm as well. They think about their day to day problems like, problems of money, family, relationships, friends, career, studies etc. They also suddenly remember some good incidents or some joke from their past and start smiling to themselves. In short they do what we do, they keep remembering their past, keep thinking about their present, and worry about their future. The only difference is that the element of imagination is absent in them. They cannot or do not create imaginary incidences, conversations, or people. If they have to think about a person , then they will think of some real life person or personality. For example if a normal teenage girl has to think about a guy, she wont simply create an imaginary boyfriend, instead she will think of her favorite celebrity or popstar or someone real whom she has a crush on. And normal people don't create any imaginary incidences or conversations they only think about the incidences occurred in their past or the conversations they had today with real life people. And yeah they do have some dreams about their future but those are not so detailed. Like if a normal person has a football match tomorrow he will think 'I want to win this match tomorrow and be the best player of my team' that's it. And he is aware if he doesn't practice, his dream won't come true. He also knows he hasn't won the match yet, it will happen TOMORROW. He is YET to experience all that. So obviously he won't be happy for his victory today. Why? cause it simply hasn't happened yet.
But if a daydreamer has a football match tomorrow, he won't just dream of winning the match, no, he will meticulously plan or rather imagine how the entire match would take place. How he will make his first goal. How he will crush the opposite team. And how everyone will praise him for his performance. How much proud his coach will be. etc etc. He will have a feeling that all of that is happening to him right now. And he will also be happy with his victory today itself, even if the match is tomorrow and he hasn't even won in the first place. I think this happens to me a lot. Sports was just an example but this happens in every aspect of my life.
Has this ever happened to you? Or is it just me?
I always wondered why I was so shocked when my dreams did not come true. I put my faith into picturing what I wanted. But I didn't take action to make it all happen. I just sat there and fantasized for hours in the day. My family and others often caught site of my escapisms and assumed my head was in another world. I actually believed in my MD to an extent I expected my ambitions to materialize someday. Sadly, nothing happened. Years later in my adulthood, I'm shocked at where I am today. I'm supposed to be a successful, independent and well established adult. Instead, I'm just falling into my family's shadow. I don't even seem to be as grown up and mature as my peers, who happen to have better lives.
Thing is when I turned 18, I wanted to attend art college and be a fine artist, but I wasn't being realistic. I realized that I had to do more to get ahead. I got a degree in design, which I believed will open doors. I was verbally warned that I wasn't strong in design and it will take faith to pursue this career. Regardless, I wasn't listening to anybody, and got lulled into complacency. I expected to run a design business or climb in an advertising agency. Surprisingly, it took me 10 years to realize I took on the wrong career, and should've took careful steps to see what skills and work environments suit me. I had contract jobs before, which ended on a sour note. The employers often noticed I'd float and trail off, and not listen to a word they said. It wasn't a pretty experience, I'll tell you that. How would you like to meet somebody who *never listens?* I met some people who looked terribly cringed in certain incidences. It's like they found my short attention span a threat to life. Boy did I feel stupid every time.
I look back at my past and remember how often I got manipulated for not being mindfully aware of what was going on around me. *It makes me green just to think about it.* I was extremely quiet and timid, and I was caught doing MD. So I got remarkably embarrassed and ambushed in high school. Stared at lots of times and told I was being too weird. I found it incredibly hard to protect myself.
I totally agree with Sakshee Dhumal.
We create and also get really attached to our imaginary worlds, and for me sometimes i dont even relate it much with my daily life, i use my real life almost as inspiration for my imagination life.
But people that not daydream they worry,think and feel based on their real lifes and for their real lifes.
What i think is also a big difference, and the reason we sometimes act as addicted, is what Sakshee said about we feeling the emotions the "day before" or even if it dont happen in real life, i think this is the main reason we have some problem with maintaining a somewhat stable routine.
love this forum!!
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