I would be interested to know if others use maladaptive daydreaming to mask the pain they feel in real life.  I don't think I will ever get over this addiction until I get to the source of the pain and heal from it.  Below are the pains that I feel:

1. Pain of inadequacy.  I had a step-father who was very critical of me when I was growing up.  I have not felt that I am good enough.  In my DDs, I am an idealized version of myself where I am more than adequate and I am somebody.

2. Pain of loneliness.  As I child, I was a latchkey kid.  I spent alot of time alone.  I pretended that the girls on the TV show "Facts of Life" were my friends.  Through my DD, I was no longer lonely because I had a lot of imaginary friends and was popular in my DDS.  Now, I am in a marriage where my husband works alot and I feel lonely.  We lack intimacy in our marriage.  In my DDs, I am desired and loved.

3. Pain of  Settling for a Career I do not love.  I have always been a creative person- love to write, sing, and dance.  I never really pursued the artistic life.  I settled for a career as an attorney but I have DDs where I am an actress, dancer, or writer.

Somehow I feel better for just writing this.  I am very thankful for this network because I have a place where I can tell the truth no matter how painful it is and not pretend that everything is okay.

I like to think of myself as a spiritual person.  I don't really know how I am going to heal myself but the voice that I hear in my head right now is "Let Go, Let God."


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Comment by Windy City Day Dreamer on August 12, 2012 at 7:39pm

I think it is helpful for people like you said to examine why they are MDing and what purpose it serves in their life.  I have tried cognitive therapy but that just explores the triggers.  I need to go deeper so I am reading a book on IFS.  In IFS terminology, my MD is a protector.   See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Family_Systems_Model.  It wasn't until recently that I came to realize the function that MD was serving for me, which was masking pain.  I also think MD also helps me cope with anxiety. 

I appreciate your comment- what is MD?  addiction? Maladaptive behavior?  It looks like you have done a lot of research in this area from some of the blogs I read.

I am glad that I have people like you who I can talk about this with.

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