Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I would be interested to know if others use maladaptive daydreaming to mask the pain they feel in real life. I don't think I will ever get over this addiction until I get to the source of the pain and heal from it. Below are the pains that I feel:
1. Pain of inadequacy. I had a step-father who was very critical of me when I was growing up. I have not felt that I am good enough. In my DDs, I am an idealized version of myself where I am more than adequate and I am somebody.
2. Pain of loneliness. As I child, I was a latchkey kid. I spent alot of time alone. I pretended that the girls on the TV show "Facts of Life" were my friends. Through my DD, I was no longer lonely because I had a lot of imaginary friends and was popular in my DDS. Now, I am in a marriage where my husband works alot and I feel lonely. We lack intimacy in our marriage. In my DDs, I am desired and loved.
3. Pain of Settling for a Career I do not love. I have always been a creative person- love to write, sing, and dance. I never really pursued the artistic life. I settled for a career as an attorney but I have DDs where I am an actress, dancer, or writer.
Somehow I feel better for just writing this. I am very thankful for this network because I have a place where I can tell the truth no matter how painful it is and not pretend that everything is okay.
I like to think of myself as a spiritual person. I don't really know how I am going to heal myself but the voice that I hear in my head right now is "Let Go, Let God."