Unsure - please help

[Lucy Smither]

Hello

 

I am new to all this so please be gentle ! I am a 17 year old girl who has formed in depth fantasy worlds since around the age of 15.After some research I believe I may have a mild form of ‘maladaptive daydreaming’ disorder.Symptoms that I posses that have led to this self diagnosis include ;

• Listening to music while daydreaming.
• Having very vivid fantasies.
• Becoming emotionally attached to the characters created within my daydreams.
• Expressing the emotions I am feeling in my daydream,and may cry, laugh, smile or make facial expressions according to what is happening in my fantasy.

All of the above apply to me and yet I believe I have MD in a mild way.Yes my fantasies are very vivid but I am a creative person with a fantastic imagination.Shouldn’t I see this in a positive and not a negative light ? I also am very aware of the fact that my fantasy is indeed a fantasy and NOT reality.In addition unlike many other MD’ers my supposed MD does not really interfere with my actual life.I am a fairly social person who enjoys going out with friends.I am admittedly not the most confident person nor extremely popular but more somewhere in the middle.Like almost every other teenage girl I am conscious of my body image and can sometimes feel insecure.However overall I am happy with the way I look.I have too heard from other MD sufferers that they often find it difficult to go to sleep as they are kept up by their daydreaming.If anything my daydreaming sends me to sleep,something I enjoying do whilst lying in bed before I drift off.  

I have of cause asked myself what triggered this in depth daydreaming and I can think of a few possible things.These once more affirm my belief that I have a mild form of MD,if at all as they are all relating to my current life / current circumstances and so leads me to believe its something I may grow out of ;

• Firstly my first fantasy and the basis of all my other fantasy’s involve me as the main character and focuses on my relationship with a significant other.This ‘significant other’ has ranged from my GCSE english teacher who I had a school girl crush on at the time (embarrassing but true!) to famous actors.I haven’t however in real life had a boyfriend.I wonder therefor if my fantasy world is trying to make up for that in some sort of way ?? Will this daydreaming stop when I get the real thing ?? Maybe it’s just a hormonal teenage girl thing that will pass ??
• In my current fantasy one of the main characters has cancer.This sadly reflects my real life as my Granddad was diagnosed with liver cancer in January.My Granddad and I are very close and I wonder if creating this character in my head,of which I control (therefore can ensure get’s better) is a way of dealing with my Granddad’s cancer diagnosis.
• I didn’t achieve the GCSE results I wanted after aiming ridiculously high.I became very self critical and convinced myself my parent’s weren’t proud of me like other parent’s were of their children.In my fantasy however I excel at everything I turn my hand to and people become in awe of me.I again wonder if this is linked and my fantasy try’s to make up for this / counter balance it ?

To be honest I am just really confused and would love to hear someone’s opinion on what I have said.I have never told anyone about my fantasy’s before so this a big step for me.I am really interested as to wether you think I just have a well developed sense of imagination that I will grow out off or actual MD ? I am also interested to know weather its ok for me to continue these daydreams,I mean they are not harmful or taking over my life as they do for other MD sufferers ?

 

Many thanks.

[Nicola Wallace]

What you have written above, the first part , is soooooo me. It is scary it is almost like i could have written this. I am a 16 year old girl, who has been daydreaming since i was 7! I am glad to hear someone else who hasn't got social insecurities, and is a happily confident teenager. However still has MD. I use my dreams as a way to peacefully go to sleep. It may take hours, but i enjoy it. All the Best!

[Lucy Smither]

Thank you so much for replying,it really means so much knowing I have told someone this.Your comments have been really useful & Im so grateful for them.Im sorry about posting this in more than one place,I wasn't sure where it should go.If I need to post something else in the future I will remember this and only place it one spot :) I also just wanted to say what a fantastic site you have here.For a long time I felt like I was the only person who had this problem but through this site I now know i'm not alone & can even share & relate to other members on here.You do a great job. THANK YOU

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Hi, Lucy.

 

First of all, Maladaptive Daydreaming is still an emerging condition.  We're still figuring out all the symptoms, so if you don't exactly match everyone here, that doesn't mean you don't have it.  I don't match everyone here either.  It sounds like you're at least a compulsive, if not maladaptive per se, daydreamer.  Some people like to differentiate.  I don't really see the need to as it's all on the same continuum.  If it's not affecting your life, then it's not maladaptive yet, but that doesn't mean you should just daydream all you want and not be concerned about it.  You came here for a reason.  Obviously some part of you is worried about it, or you wouldn't have gone searching for answers.  The time to act is now, while it's still under control.  Don't allow yourself to let daydreaming to take over your life, or you will regret it.  You must find a way to manage it now while you still can.  You don't want to wait until it's taken over your life and destroyed your desire to have a social life before you start to control it.  If you do, it'll be a HUGE struggle, and the damage may be permanent.  This doesn't mean you have to quit entirely or that it's all bad.  It means you need to learn to manage it.  If you start to prefer your daydreaming world to the outer world, that's a big sign that it's getting worse and needs attention.  I hope this helps.

 

Also, please don't post things in more than one spot.  If you're just sharing your feelings or talking about yourself, that goes in a blog.  If you want to start a discussion about something, that goes in the forum.  Let me know if you have any more questions.