Trying To Figure Out How This Started

[Kevin M]

I've been looking through some of the other blogs on here and then I got to thinking of how/when DD came in to my life.  I never had any traumatic experiences and my home life was pretty good growing up.   I didn't really remember having DD's often during high school.  Maybe  at that time in my life, between going to school and school activities and working part time, I just didn't have the time or energy to DD.  

I don't think my DD's really started to become vivid until I was about 20 years old.  I lived with a roommate at the time and that's when I really started listening to music on my headphones and sorta "zoning out" if you will.   Then as my DD's became more vivid and "better than real life", I started spending more time in them.   When I had a roommate(s) this meant "going to bed earlier" so that I could go in my bedroom put my headphones and DD for an hour or two before going to sleep.  

I've lived by myself awhile now  so I have that "luxury" of DD'ing wherever I feel like it at home.   Luxury is not the word i'd really use to describe that anymore.  Now that I can tell DD'ing has affected my personal life so much so that 5 days a week I go straight home from work to DD (whether through active DD or simulated DD like video games) until the time I fall asleep.  I've stopped working out and whenever anyone asked me what I've been up to lately, all I can think of is "nothing, technically."  Which makes me a little sad because other people are out doing things and I'm at home on the couch lost in a dream world in my head.

I'd also like to point out that I do not actually "see" anything.  I don't have hallucinations or anything like that.  I simply retreat into my "make-believe world".

[DebbieP.]

I agree with EludeMyFantasties - classic addictive behavior.