This is my story...

[Tara Momo]

I remember it starts at the very young age. I was really shy at my school during prep and elementary days. I don't speak to my classmates. My teacher would ask me questions but I can't even open my mouth. I knew from then that there is something wrong with me. I got average grades not because I'm dumb but because I get distracted a lot. I mean, A LOT.  I always find myself staring out of the window in my class and think of  anything else than my teachers lecture. Because of my shyness the children wouldn't let me play with them so I would play with myself instead. I don't have an imaginary friend but I talk to myself like I was in a situation where I would act it out. I make stories out of it like everyday something new was happening.I'd get happy. I'd get sad. I feel every emotions I even cry for real. I got interested in writing because of that. I like making up stories. I remember lying with my classmates about myself and my family like, my family owns a big house that kind of stuff. Somehow writing has a healing effect on me. My daydream lessen. But I know deep inside me that my daydreams would never fade away because it has a huge part of me. It's my get away world whenever I feel sad and lonely. My college years became really awesome because I got to know my befriends, the people you know will always be there for you but when I graduated I experienced a major loneliness. And my daydreams started to become active. This was around 2011. I was unemployed for months and I have nothing else to do but to daydream. I even neglected myself. I lost my confidence. I lost myself esteem. I got a mild acne which made me more insecure than ever. It was one of the dark days of my life and the only thing I relied on was my daydreams. Daydreaming makes me comfortable and at home. It makes me see the beautiful side of the world. For some of us, I still think that we're lucky to be able to have a vivid daydreams because it gives us joy and happiness even for a brief moment. But for somehow it became uncontrollable. It was like 70% of my waking hours I invest it on my daydreams. I can't help it. It becomes part of my daily life. I was scared for the real world. I'd rather stay home. I know there's nothing wrong with daydreaming when done moderately but I knew it's out of control and I have to take actions. I seek online for help and I learned that I wasn't the only one who went through with this. I was thankful and blessed at the same time. Now I don't treat this as a bad thing. God gave me this because he knows that I can handle this. I still daydream up to this day but I use it when I'm making a scene for a story. I write novels by the way. And for those people who struggle the same thing you can take advantage of your daydreams in a creative way. Don't treat it like it's a disorder. Daydreaming is something I can't possibly give up and I'll continue to do it whenever I want. Anyway, thanks for having the time for reading this. It means a lot because this is my first ever blog post. And I am looking forward to meet new friends here. ;)

[Roel]

We will be looking forward to meet you too Tara ;)