I am Glad and Relieved that there are others out ther like Me. For a long time i literally thought i was the only one with MDD. I've had MDD since the age of six, but didnt know what was wrong with me nor knew what MDD was til the age of Twenty. Through that big gap of not knowing i went through deep depression, delt with low self-esteem, delt with a lot of anger within myself, was very insecure, and I withdrawed from Everyone. For years i thought i was Crazy, abnormal, and even mentally challanged, and it made me hate myself. I use to get really mad when i would catch myself going into a deep daydream, and abuse myself. I have been to many different therapist and tried to describe my symptons to them, but they all looked at me with confusion. Every last therapist that i went to didnt have a clue what mdd was, so they didnt recognize the symptons. A therapist once told me, "Well, If you dont like these daydreams that you go into, then STOP!" O___o If it was that easy, then i wouldnt of been sitting in his office. After finding out what MDD was, as an adult I've learned to accept MDD and Love myself ,even though my symptoms have gotten worse over the years. I dont let it bother me as much, even though it is severe. Basically anything can trigger my MDD. Tv shows, music, movies, a picture, a recent conversation; ANYTHING! Music definatley triggers it, i have thrown out my stero, and tried driving with the radio off to see if it would help; Not at all! Multiple times I have almost rear ended peoples cars because of my MDD. I have driven to places and dont even remember how i got there because my MDD. I am now a Junior in college with a social work major. I honestly have no idea how i made it through school, My Mdd would get so bad that i would miss a whole lesson in class. Not many people know that i have MDD, especially my family and friends. I have gotten weird looks from people when they would catch me in a deep daydream and would see my lips moving, or smiling, or even laughing to myself. I get so deep into my daydreams that sometimes i even act them out, and would get sooooo embarrsed and feel ashamed when people would catch me. I tried to tell my mother about it, but she never took me seriously and just tells me that Im always in "La La Land". I have look at some websites and got some information on what some people use for treatment for MDD. Some have used Meds that are intended for people with ADD, some say that it helps keep them focused. Some have used meds that are for people with OCD, because its related to obsessive thinking. I just really hope that they do more research on Mdd and find a Cure for it. Well, im really glad to have found you guys and Im eager to hear about some of your stories, and learn more about MDD. :-)

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Comment by Shayna Marie on January 29, 2012 at 6:13am
@greyartist Thanks :-)
Comment by greyartist on January 29, 2012 at 5:43am

thats wonderful Shayna!

Comment by Shayna Marie on January 29, 2012 at 5:09am
Guess What Guys! :-D I Finally sat my Mom Down and Explained to her about my Disorder. Surprisingly she actually took the time to listen and wasnt Judgemental at all! She just told me to pray on it, don't let my disorder get to me, and to just be patient until they do more research on Md before trying Meds. She was very understanding, and i am so happy and relieved that the most important person in my life knows what im going through and still supports me and is there for Me! All Smiles Over Here :-) I Hope this Post Encourages You Guys to want to Share what you're going through with your loved ones for support. As you guys know, and i know!.. Md is VERY hard to cope with and is hard to go through alone. If you do decide to share it with your loved ones, i hope you get the same happy relieved comfort feeling that i had got after i shared. Best Wishes and Good luck to you :-)
Comment by Jennifer on January 16, 2012 at 3:07pm
Aw. :( At least we both know we're not alone. :) That's a plus.
Comment by Shayna Marie on January 16, 2012 at 2:39pm
@Jennifer Same Here! :-(
Comment by Jennifer on January 16, 2012 at 12:34pm

@Taegan Heart

Really? You act them out, too? My parents constantly ask me what the hell I'm doing in my bedroom. I hate it, and I wish I could stop.

Comment by Teagan Heart on January 14, 2012 at 8:22pm

oh my gosh! i'm so glad you did this post! i act them out too. my parents think i'm crazy. i laugh and talk. i feel so frustrated.  

Comment by Jennifer on January 9, 2012 at 7:04pm

Aw, I understand completely. After doing something like that in public, I just want to slap myself in the face, LOL. You told your cousin? Yay, it's always good to have at least one person you can trust. It's hard to live with MD, especially when no one but yourself knows about it. :/

Hope all is well! :)

Comment by Shayna Marie on January 8, 2012 at 7:19pm
Very hard to cope with! I try very hard to tame myself too when in public, but today that failed. I had a Public incident about an hour ago at a birthday Party, my cousin caught me in the act and just stared :-/ She knows i have MD though, the ONLY one who knows! Even though she knows, i still was embarrassed.

No Problem and Thanks :-)
Comment by Jennifer on January 8, 2012 at 6:43pm

Woow, you sound SO much like myself! I am sorry to hear that you suffer from MD. :( It's SO hard to cope with, I know. You said you sometimes even act out your daydreams? Don't worry, I do that on a regular basis, and just like you said, a photo, movie, TV show, book, recent conversation, pretty much anything can trigger a daydream of mine. The only time I don't act out my daydreams is when I'm in public. When I'm in public, I usually find myself pacing around, aimlessly, daydreaming about something dumb, lol.

Thank you for sharing your story, and for the friend request! You're very pretty by the way. :D

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