I have a fantasy (amongst others) about this beautiful, strong, succesful woman, largely representing my personality in her verbal behavior but much more lucky when it comes to genetic material...I call her Juno. So why is she female? And what does she mean to me? Reasons I can think of:

1. Wanting to be complete

So she is not male.  What psycho-analists call the anima, if you will?

2. Eye-candy

A simple desire for overwhelming images. I have my house filled with visually exciting depictions of women (I don't mean pr0n, lol), heroines from RPG video games and such. I like to identify with this strong, proud, beautiful woman in my head, Juno...because I do not possess those qualities perhaps. The beauty of this woman is unequalled, tall, athletic, half asian half white, dark fiery eyes...

3. The superhero fantasy 

You feel powerless but transforming into the superhero empowers you, thinking you could change the world, if only you were...

4. Mental masturbation 

Sexually, I have a desire to be overwhelmed, pretty much like my own imagination can overwhelm me, or a game, a movie. To be completely sucked into something (not too literally) pleases me. I don't have sexual fantasies about Juno. But thinking about her and how she thinks and feels and identifying with it...may be psychological porno?

5. Fame

Maybe partially the vanity...but she is famous and therefore has access to millions, listening or watching. I don't care about fame, I would hate it. But there are benefits, like she can talk to the media and say profound  or funny things that I would say. Juno is however less ambitious when it comes to endeavours closer to me, such as making music (which I do). But again, fame (through her illustrious sports career) gives access to a large audience, also when blogging like I'm doing now. 


6. Emotional compensation

 Juno feels what I would feel but more strongly and does things admirably that I find interesting of course, things I would like to be good at, or am good at.  The biggest difference between me and Juno is that when it comes to sports, she has this fire, she will do whatever it takes to achieve her goal. I am not half that ambitious and have always wanted a laid back life for myself. I'm jealous at Juno's many attributes, but perhaps mostly her intensity. I for instance fantasize about her playing tennis in a heated, thrilling match, barely winning, only on mental strength. Or as a basketball player, at center position.


7. Physical compensation


She is 6 ft. 5 and extremely athletic (with thin but strong muscles)...I am 6 foot 4 with skinny body type plus some (not too much) fat on the wrong places. I make sure I have enough movement by cycling and walking and stay in shape somewhat. But she is the warrior that I am not. I should maybe practice sport more but at the same time find it VERY boring or too aggressive. Maybe it's not so much the physical act of actually doing sport but the intensity and focus of it that appeals to me and that I cannot find IRL.

I have played basketball for a while and found myself:
-annoyed by the violence and aggression;
-disencouraged by the fanaticism of other players and the negativitiy that comes with that (making a mistake, missing a layup spelled loser and caused negative remarks);
-physically totally inadequate despite my height and shooting skills, players would push me over and seize rebounds, I'd get slightly better at it but still;
-bored at times in the gym, I could not relate to the other guys;
-mentally not capable enough to concentrate and have enough court awareness.

I did not enjoy the trainings or the competition, I was so glad I quit it finally. I also had this ankle injury that has worsened my ability to run fast. I stopped watching NBA matches too, a long time ago. 

But Juno is still there, kicking ass...besides the fire, the satisfaction of lust for battle, I see her also as sort of an artist, performing poetry in motion. It's kind of the Ares archetype, the Greek god of war (also a good dancer). It seems I fantasize about this aspect because I have neglected this part of my life. Some would compensate by simply watching sports, I like my fantasy more and more it seems and they take much less time than sports games.

***Conclusion***


The superheroine fantasy is quite common in comics, games and more and more in movies. It satisfies the visual needs for boys and men and the need for aggression, it's a two in one, beauty and deadliness. 

It seems to me that each fantasy character embodies something we would like to be, if only we could, making us more complete. I think it's OK that some things stay a fantasy but if a fantasy comes back a lot, all the time, it's probably something you should consider doing and working on.

Should I do sports again? The positives do not outweigh the many negatives for me. With Juno, I can just enjoy the positives, without the hard work and the hardships.

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Comment by Floris on September 12, 2013 at 1:24pm

Oh and I don't hate dancing as much as I thought, it's really about how much I feel accepted somewhere.

I tried biodanza earlier this year and was at a party with a DJ and many laid back people (from a group walking/hiking website) I didn't know too well...great atmosphere to get footloose in!

Comment by Floris on September 12, 2013 at 1:21pm

Hey Iris,

you were right after all! I just became member of a Les Mills fitness club and am excited to try out so many ways to train my body! Definitely motivated but my stamina seems most important to me, my increased energy level and using my body more should help me get through the day without the need to drift away too much in thought and without closing myself off too much against the stressful outside world.

cheers,

Floris

Comment by Floris on February 5, 2013 at 3:57pm

@Iris

Do sports? Hm I sometimes do cycling, but it can be boooring. Likewise I cannot always move myself to join group walks. Maybe I do miss an adrenaline kick somewhere but I can only associate that with sports I no longer desire to do such as basketball. "Just do it" very quickly means "just quit it" for me, motivation on the long term is simply not there for sports. I plan on trying out Tai Chi by this summer.

I can relate to a character having little in common but once the fantasy ripes more it gets a bit more mature and realistic in the sense that personality is closer to my own, she thinks things that I think, she can after all only say things that I can think of (but is more gutsy and confrontational in that aspect of course, a real heroine, also one who makes a stand for the weak). So, as little as possible in common...well on the outside, but not the inside. Part of this fantasy is simply having amazing gifts of intelligence, beauty and talents. Same person as me but WITH those extraordinary extra things to lean on. I fantasize about Juno's hardships but I don't fantasize about endless amounts of exercises, too boring to fantasize about :-). Partially it's just the drama and the spectacle I fantasize about, action film style like Rocky.

Comment by Iris on February 3, 2013 at 12:26am

I have another thought about my dd-character being male, while I am female. I'm not comfortable about myself, this is why I dd. While others dream about their idealized self, I want my character to have as little as possible in common with myself. Can you relate to this?

About sports: Do it. Do something that is not competetive - like riding the bike, jogging/

Comment by Pascale on February 1, 2013 at 8:07am

No need to explain yourself. If its not you its not you. Try tai chi if thats what you want. Even if you stop after some month because you get bored. For me learning to say what I like and what I want is part of the terapy.

I have used almost 40 år of my life to do what other people waited from me. With the real me close in a DD world. Such a waste when I think about it.

Comment by Floris on February 1, 2013 at 5:57am

"I dislike the dullness and clumsiness of dancing" I mean it's just not me. I have never liked dancing, nor will I. It does not suit me. It's hard to explain to women how much I really loathe it. But just a matter of taste, I should not need to explain it. I prefer to express myself in other ways, in comfortable places that are less crowded.

"I dislike the violent aggression of martial arts" I mean the competitive nature, martial arts are generally respectful but I don't want to get my ass kicked all the time. I'm not athletic nor am I ambitious or competitive. Don't really care that much about winning as much as others, there is more in life than success (that often means very little in sports, locally).

Comment by Floris on February 1, 2013 at 5:51am

No I dislike the dullness and clumsiness of dancing (besides the usually terrible music out there) and I dislike the violent aggression of martial arts. I cannot be motivated to do either passionately. But Tai Chi...is somewhere in between and that seems interesting to me. I hope I can do it not just mechanically but convincingly, and that it actually helps against DD-ing when I need to control my need for it. And I hope I won't be bored out of my skull doing it.

Comment by Pascale on February 1, 2013 at 5:34am

Funny, I am female. For years I DD whith me as the main carractere. One day I decide to write a novel. It didn't go so good but my novel story get a new type of DD. And I notice something strange: I could relate and live myself in the male caracteres, not in the female.

When I think about it I feel I am not thinking as women should think. A stupid feeling I have since I was a teenager. When I was with other girl speaking of girlish thing like shooping, cloths, make up, or boys I just feel it was completely unintersting.

Like I something in my head telling beeing a boy must be easier. Yet when I read you I realise teenage boys also have the completly brainless things they discuss with each other.

If you try doing sport again do not choose team-sport if it is not wright for you. Why not consider dance classes or martial art for a change?

Comment by Floris on January 31, 2013 at 10:33am

very true, well Juno is hyperintelligent of course.

But as for dumbness, still secretly hoping for more Dead Or Alive movie sequals ;-)

Comment by taffle on January 31, 2013 at 8:38am

Great description! There's nothing hotter than a strong, athletic, deadly, and beautiful goddess, right? A little bit of smarts wouldn't hurt.

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