SOS?

[Kacey]

Wow, this is really tough to write about but I have to get it off my chest. The last time I was on here I wrote about how I was searching online for my "Dream Guy". I figured I'd never find anyone even remotely close to him. I kept up my search thinking I was doing it just for fun. I feel so guilty but I joined a dating website for my search and guess what? I found a guy that looks exactly like my DD guy, lives in the same state, has the same first name and even wears the same hat in one of his pictures! So, I sent this guy a message and told him how cute I thought he was. He replied with a thank you. I payed for a subscription just to send that message. I realized there's no chance with this guy but I just loved looking at his picture. Then, yesterday, I was on the site and saw that my fiance's best friend is also on there. I cancelled it immediately. I'm getting obsessed and worse than that, I feel sad and almost like I'm heartbroken because I found the guy and can't have him. It would ruin my relationship with my fiance' if he ever found out. I would never actually cheat on him but in my opinion looking around is just as wrong. Why did I have to go and look? Why did I have to find a guy that looked like my DD guy? It's got to STOP right now! Now I feel like I'm in love with someone I don't even know. I think I've really lost it this time. Is there anyone on this site that can give me some words of wisdom? Anything that might help? 

[Kacey]

Thanks for all your comments. I'm glad I have this site to come onto where I can actually tell people what I'm going through. My fiance's at work and I have cried as though I'm grieving the loss of a relationship but your comments are right. Melissa, I hope it will pass, like you say. It's up to me now to make it stop. It's only hurting me. There's a part of me that has considered getting back onto the site where I found this guy and telling him that I'd had a dream(I wouldn't say DD but a real sleeping dream.) and the man in it looked just like him. But, I can't because I'd look like a crazy, stalkerish fool. I'm off the site now. Now if I can just get this off my mind.

[Melissa]

To me, it's a fantasy that will pass. Don't pursue it. It sounds like something that made you excited, but those emotions will hopefully settle and not be as intense as they are now.

 

[taffle]

I think everyone has their own dream guy/dream girl, whether they are married or not. My mother used to tell me about her dream guy, who she imagines is hotter than my father. And some married men watch porn. This is probably more common than people think.

I don't know if this dream guy is worth pursuing. Maybe you should ask yourself why you are getting married in the first place.

[Pascale]

Why is this guy your fiance if he is not your Dream Guy? or is he?

You have to make a choice, you cannot to say yes to a guy whithout knowing you say no to all the other. Still, it is worth it if you realy meen it.

Look at your feeling in all this, the perfect guy is a dream but your feeling are true, there are there for a reason.

[Paul]

Your fiance is someone that you know and willingly spend time with, you DD guy is just an evolved idea. That someone out there meets his appearance should be considered as mere coincidence. I would be willing to bet his personality is a far cry from the one you imagined. I would also be willing to bet that your fiance has a personality much closer to that of your desired guy.

If you were to meet with this DD guy, imagine your disappointment when you discover he is a completely different person.

The mind is completely malleable, it is why we are all so different. Why not alter your DD perception to closer resemble the guy you have already chosen. I know this can be achievable, but you need to be willing. It won't come easily, but it will greatly strengthen you. You were already able to assign this anonymous guy to that of your dreams, you can do the same to the guy that may not look like him, but closer resembles him.

Just my 2c

Peace, and good luck :)