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I've started a new semester at college and I've been insanely stressed. I have more responsibilities now-I'm an editor at the newspaper and I'm involved in other clubs, plus I'm getting into the 300 …

I've started a new semester at college and I've been insanely stressed. I have more responsibilities now-I'm an editor at the newspaper and I'm involved in other clubs, plus I'm getting into the 300 level classes. I love everything I'm doing, it's just very stressful. I also have a job now. I work as a hostess at a restaurant and it's really hard, but it's bringing me out of my shell and forcing me to talk to people. It's so busy there, I barely have any time to daydream, though I do it a little bit. Anyway, I've been really depressed lately too and I've noticed an increase in my daydreaming. I'm writing right now because I couldn't stop myself from daydreaming and it reminded me of this site. My days are so filled and busy that locking myself in my room (though I don't have a real lock and I'm always worried that my parents will knock and come in) and dancing to hectic music while daydreaming is my escape. Unfortunately, it usually makes me very anxious, too. I stopped myself one night because I felt I was getting close to having a panic attack. I managed to calm down. I feel very out of touch with reality lately. I've also started writing again. I'm working on a novel and I wrote the entire summary out and had my friend and boyfriend read over it. I think it's really good and I'm looking forward to working on it, but it's also the reason I've been very anxious and daydreaming too much. I'm on a kind of writer's high as well, which feels great. I'm giddy and obsessed with my story and characters, but the story is very depressing and it impacts my life. I feel the way my characters feel. This whole book started out with me daydreaming about my life and then I decided to turn it into a real book. I'm not sure how to split up these worlds. When I catch myself daydreaming that I'm my characters, I let myself do it as long as it's not impacting anything negatively, but sometimes it does and it hurts to try and stop it.

I haven't talked to my therapist about all this yet. We went back to meeting every other week and it's going alright. We're working on other things, though. Mostly my anxiety about being sick, which I'm treating the same way I treated 9/11 and that worked. I'm also living home now, which is okay, but I tend to get stuck feeling like monsters are going to attack me. I'm 21 now. I shouldn't be afraid of monsters in the dark. Like, legitimately afraid. I also talked to my best friend about this and she experiences much of the same thing. We are both writers with similar personalities, but she seems to be okay with her daydreaming. She also dances in her room to music and spins sometimes to the point where she's worn away her socks. The difference between us is that her parents know and are okay with it. It could be why it bothers me more-because I'm always worried about my parents finding out.

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Comment by Christina on March 5, 2011 at 2:28pm
I'm not sure if it runs in families. That would be interesting. I have one other relative who does it too, but to a much lesser extent. We never really talk about it though.
Comment by Steph on March 5, 2011 at 8:54am
It's great that your parents are accepting of it. And that's so cool that one of your relatives had the same thing. I wonder if it runs in families sometimes? It would be an interesting thing to research.
Comment by Christina on March 5, 2011 at 1:01am
In 300 levels, newspaper editor, in other clubs, writing a novel, and have a job--you are an impressive individual. It's amazing you can do all this and still have any time to daydream. A couple times my parents walked in on me years back. I'd just say I was antsy from all the work and needed to dance away my stress. My mom was fine with it and said my aunt used to pace in her room for hours when they were growing up. My dad thought it was odd, but didn't make a big deal of it because I acted like it was nothing but a stress-buster. Hang on to that friend!
Comment by Nico Lilly on February 12, 2011 at 10:56pm

I think you are very lucky to have a best friend that you can talk to openly about daydreaming :o) As for telling parents, it seems a lot of us on this site haven't been able to do that for various reasons. I haven't, and feel no need to tell them either.

You are lucky to have your writing, and other positive things going on for you to occupy your time (and mind). I think distraction, and especially while doing something productive, is very healthy. I used to love writing, well I still do but do it less and less now that motherhood and my job take up so much of my time and energy.

It does sound very stressful for you, I hope you manage to find a way out.

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