Obsessions Hurt

[Gwenevere]

No matter what the object is, obsessing hurts.   Your head feels like it's too full.  Even when closed, your eyes dart around, trying to focus on something.  You feel disconnected from the people around you.  Laundry feels like absolutely the most pointless activity in the existence of mankind (well, laundry usually feels like that regardless of your mental state).

And it doesn't matter if the obsession is about something ordinarily pleasant, like a daydream or story or a real-life love interest, or something darker, like obsessive-compulsive "what-if" thoughts.   At some point, the constructive focus transforms into destructive mental head-banging.  

Some individuals seem to be wired with attention deficits.  Others, like me, seem to be wired to focus in on one and only one thing for an extended period of time until they are sick of it or sick because of it.  

The latter group and the former group ought to get together and (nerd alert) attempt some sort of Vulcan mind-meld so they can learn from each other how to be more balanced individuals.  But until then, I think I'll make a list of goals and valued activities and try to use sheer will power and my real-life cheerleading squads (friends and family) to learn how to make my focus more calm and balanced, more like a tranquil lake and less like the Excalibur rammed into a chunk of rock.  

[Hünd]

Close your eyes, put on some calm music and shut off your brain. Sounds hard, but if you try it becomes easier.