MD is a bitch...

[Kina Lowes]

I'm going to begin to blog about my MD so that maybe i can get a better grip on it. R.E. see how its affecting my life more realistically. And then kick its ass. 

 

I can function. I'll say that much. I have read some people say that they have no control over it whatsoever and my heart goes out. If i have to I can shut it off. My career to date has been pretty successful. I'm looked at as smart, got it together, on her way to the top etc etc. ( even thou i've recently been out of work)  But all of my achievements have been accomplished in a horrible grey fog. Its like trying to run to a destination and your waist deep in seawater. It's an uphill battle.

 

My MD started when I moved to this country from the west indies. i had problems fitting in. I have moved once every year for the majority of my life. And everywhere we went I was always an outcast. I was an only child with an insanely controlling and difficult mom ( tho wonderful in her way). And I guess I started to turn to MD to deal with the constant culture shock and the searing loneliness. The feeling that something was wrong with me, no one seemed to like me or want me.

 

MY MD: I want it gone. As in Ghost, Vamoose,...see you later. I DO have an appreciation for my little affiction. After all it got me thru some tough times and I don't believe in regrets. But its time is up. I plan on going head-to-head with it OK Coral style and I'M the one coming out on top. .

 

WHY I WANT IT GONE: I (notoriously) can't find my way around a corner. I barely remember the lyrics to my favorite songs. Just the hook-(after all the songs are just fodder for the fantasies, who gives a damn what they're really saying, right). I waste a lot of my day. It takes me FOREVER to get out of my house in the morning due to not being able to find my keys, my bag, one shoe etc etc..you get the picture. And I believe that if i didnt have the MD to rely on I would form more solid romantic relationships ( to date my longest one was 1 1/2 years. I'm tired of coming up with little cute ways of covering the fact that someone caught me in a MD in full public. And the moment i'm bored ( which is often) i stop paying attention, go full-throttle MD and then use the end of someone's sentence to figure out what the hell is going on. Very few people notice that I do this. I feel like i'm not living up to my full potential. Since I use MD to help me with my lonliness.

I dont think i ever really maturely dealt with it. The MOMENT i'm alone or not being amused I feel lonely. <---wow never realized that until now.

 

Ever feel like ure not leading the life you should be leading? There are somethings in terms of mental health that I feel like I can achieve much more fully if i...ONCE I divest myself of the day dreaming.

 

Day one of MD Bootcamp BEGINS! * in my world wrestling federation voice* .Wish me Luck folks!

 

I'm so happy I found this site. I'm never lonely when I'm on here. :)

 

 

 

 

 

[Kina Lowes]

Dont feel bad. I dont think you should feel guilty. God gave MD to you in the first place to help you deal with your problems growing up. So if you are starting to get better and don't daydream but yet sometimes fall back into your daydreams dont feel bad. Just keep trying. Eventually you won't daydream anymore. I had a good day today. I didnt daydream much. I was so busy and it felt good. I have to have more days like that too.

 

I am like you tho. Loneliness, shame and stress trigger the daydreams.

 

Remember: "god helps those who help themselves" so don't give up! Keep trying!

[Cristy Vite]

thank you i will try that sorry for my english i'm from mexico, at least...here i'm not alone and although my bad english i can speak about my problem because in my house the only person that knows about my problem is my mom.... i'll try to post it the best i can... what happened is that i recieved a miracle from god and MD was erradicated at all from my mind and life but i spoil it by doing it again... you see... what happened was that god did the miracle and i started to do it (daydream) again... because i felt lonely... i know i have no excuses but i feel so guity..and i don't know what to do.. i don't know if he wants to cure me again

[Kina Lowes]

Hey Cristy Vite:

I'm really new to this forum. but I think if you go to blogs and click " New Post" or "Post a Blog"...i can't remember the exact words you can post that way. What country are you from?

[Cristy Vite]

i can function too and my daydreaming is 99% about real life but it's always in my mind and if i don't get focus i tend to automatically daydream so i try to get focus on what is happening in real life, i understand what you sayed when you writed about going to another country because that was the fact that made me start daydreaming, i arrived to a new city and i had no friends, i felted rejected and super lonely, and i was carrying the problems of my family in my back and i couldn't help the situation anymore, then i started the "alternative world of fantasy" where i had a lot of friends so i was never lonely and i was accepted.

i think if we just try to stay busy and stay near from people who loves us we can be ok, i am also worried about the people that daydream all the time without being able to stop, i have a testimony to share but i don't know exactly where to post it, do you have any idea?