My Intro

[Matto]

I figured I should introduce myself. I am 27 years old and I feel I am at a crossroads in life. My MD has made it almost impossible for me to follow directions and perform complex tasks. Since it has gotten in the way of all the career ambitions I have attempted to accomplish, I feel that doing what I want isn't really an option for a career. Now I feel more like I can either do something or do nothing, for the rest of my life. By something I mean an unskilled trade of some sort. Right now I am doing nothing really.
I was tested for inattentive ADHD a few years ago with a cognitive assessment, but tested negative, however the results were by no means average in my opinion. I feel this might explain a lot, since excessive daydreaming has always been my problem and ADHD is more of a problem with the brains filtration of information.
As far back as I could remember I have always been in my own world.
My mom tells me I experienced one episode of abuse when I was five years old. My teachers in elementary school believed me to be an underachiever. In Jr High and high school people thought I was a slacker and a stoner. My time in the military people suspected I was on dope. And in college, my professors told me at the end of the year that I don't follow directions and they required me to retake all the classes of the year, despite me getting passing (barely) grades.
I haven't been back to school now and I am being lame. I figure I can pick up any unskilled trade at any time, but as of now I have a disabled brother to help out during the weekdays and a black belt I've been working towards for years in the evenings, so when I get those out of the ways I will "do something" with my life again.
I'm by no means trying to sound self depreciating as I know my life could be much worse, I just feel explaining my symptoms and evidence of them is important in this intro. Well, that's about it for an intro. Thanks

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Actually, I would rather introductions be done in blogs. When everyone starts a new forum post to introduce themselves, that buries other ones that might have good info for a newcomer.

[Matto]

I just realized, I think this is post is in the wrong place. If possible, could it be moved to the forums? Thanks.

[quentin]

I can relate this to my own experience.

Although I have never seen a specialist, I have read enough stuff on adhd to conclude that I have probably the inattentive type. As a kid I have always been spaced out, my parents telling me that the teacher would report me staying in the classroom without noticing the bell ringing.

I am probably here not the most addicted daydreamer here. Slowly, I am learning to strike a balance even if I fail each time I expect too much. The problem is that as a graduate student working on a thesis, I am required to think in a logical and scientific pattern on a regular basis. Thinking or daydreaming, you have to chose, you cannot do both or you actually will underachieve both of them.

I still have not reach the crossroad when I will have to make this choice, but I am afraid I will sooner or later be confronted to hard facts. I can totally relate.
And when we daydream.... we actually are on dope

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Write whatever you need to, happy or sad. I'm actually probably going to fail calculus, not because I can't do the math but because I can't focus enough to remember what I'm doing. Lots of us struggle with this. We all feel like slackers, but we're not. We keep trying. Getting our brains just to think and be awake is such a difficult task. It takes way more energy than for a "normal" person. In some ways this makes us smarter than average. My profs know about my anxiety (it's pretty obvious), but they don't understand the daydreaming. I live openly. I say it boldly. They're not the experts on my brain, and they don't understand why I think that. Everyone expects doctors and professors to understand our brains more than we do, but how can they when we have something so new? We're the experts. We know what's going on. We're not slackers. Our brains function differently. It takes a lot of work just to do the simplest things. Anyway, we're here for you. Hang in there. Let me know if there's anything I can do.