Me finally writing to you guys.

[Amoka]

I joined this site a few months ago, and whenever I start feeling really bad it helps me remember that I'm not alone, so i just wanna say thankyou everyone :)

Some basic information: I'm a 15 year old girl in Australia and I have been day dreaming for 3 years now, but I did it when i was really young as well. I mostly dd about my made-up characters in my favourite books/movies/tv shows or in the worlds that I create. Some deep, weird self-analysis recently informed me that each one of my characters represents an insecurity I have, like low confidence, or not trusting anyone, feeling inferior, stuff like that. That was really weird to find out. Anyways, I hate having md and I have been trying to quit, but unfortunately I no longer know how to think for myself without incorporating my dd into it. *sigh*. I'm still trying to quit and I'm determined that by the age of 16 (in March next year), i will be 'cured'. It doesn't affect my social life with friends, but it does with family, oddly. I guess I feel its alright around my family coz home is where you can be yourself. But mostly it just affects me. I'm normally depressed after dd because all my dd are quite dark.

Some strange facts: All my main characters that I 'become' are guys, and I often dd about the alternate life where I am a guy. I'm not homosexual or transgender either, which is what makes that so strange. Anyone else do this? Also, I have to be moving when I daydream. I know its mentioned as a symptom of md and  I always dd in the car (only when we're moving and the faster the speed, the better), while walking or running, or on the swing, but mostly when I'm alone I act out every single thing that happens like mouthing the words. I feel like a crazy person and pray that no one ever catches me doing this. My sister does something very md like but only for a short amount of time (like 10 mins) and she has no shame in doing it in front of people. I also recently learned that my father (who I neither want nor have any connection with any more) used to space out as a kid, and he was tested for things like ADD but never actually diagnosed. I think he had MD which makes me wonder if this thing is genetic or something.

I've noticed that heaps of people on here either have creative/arty careers or are aspiring to. I want to be an artist (reaching for the stars there :P ), a novelist/writer, an actress, or (randomly) a detective (think i've been watching too many cop shows :P ). If i could sing, then I'd probably want to be a singer :)

As for whether I've told anyone about my md... I've half explained it to my youngest sister (the one who does the md-ish thing), and she's just like 'weird, you want to go swimming now?' which was a relief because I had to build up the courage for that for weeks before hand for fear of being alienated, but also kind of disappointing that she made such a small thing about me unbarring my soul to her but whatever. At least now someone knows.

And.... done. Congrats to anyone who managed to read all that and thankyou for taking the time. It feel good to write it all out. Merry Christmas and happy new year peoples :)

[Thandimanillon]

Thank you for posting :) I'm a 21 year old fellow Aussie who also daydreams of being a guy. It seems to be a running theme for quite a few people here... I pace when I DD and have a profound respect for your courage in telling your sister. I've never told someone who I actually physically interact with. I wish you luck in your quest to break free of your DDs. I also find myself thinking as though I am the DD character, which does somewhat hamper the process of thinking while being "me" without the extra layer of my DDs.

[Blake]

I'm 15 tooo! Yay. In my daydreams I'm usually a guy too,it is weird and I don't know why. Maybe it's a teenage girl thing haha.

[Jennifer]

Hi!

Wow, you're 15, too? I'm a 15 year old girl, and I live in America. =) Your story, I can very much relate to. Feel free to inbox me at any time, I'm always here to talk. I don't want to come off creepy...I just feel like we may be able to connect because we're both 15. :P

Good luck, and happy holidays. :)

[Rachel]

Oh my gosh, I have the same thing with "but unfortunately I no longer know how to think for myself without incorporating my dd into it." SAME THING. I'm glad I'm not the only MDer who has that issue. I've been wondering about that, but too afraid to ask on a blogpost or forum or anything. Anyway, all I can really say now is that I wish you the best (sorry!). Personally, I like my daydreams but if you want them gone I'll be hoping that they're gone for you. Merry Christmas!

[taffle]

Welcome to the site and happy holidays!