Losing myself

[Jenna]

Has anyone ever woke up and wondered who the hell they are?
Lately I have been waking up everyday asking the same constant question through my head. When I was little I knew who I wanted to be and where I was going. Then I started losing the confident and bubbly personality slowly when I entered 6th grade. I regained some back when I met my ex best friends around December and January. Then we were all put on separate teams this year and we don't talk anymore. :/
However I still have two best friends that I trust with my life. (XD sorry I got off topic.) Anyways, as I was saying this year I just can't seem to find who I am. I look around and can't seem to figure out where I'm going. I wonder if I'm insane sometimes, my memory is horrible and I feel empty like I've lost my soul. It is a weird feeling to describe. I suffer from depersonlization/derealization. I guess that really doesn't help. Who the hell am I? It really makes you wonder.
Sorry I kind of had to vent, and got carried away. Haha sorry.

[THE STONE OF HELP!]

Let me tell u about me and u can guess what...
When I always look into the mirror my face is strange for me, and the bad thing is... When I live in my ideal world in which I am the hero, I can't see my face... In short I have no image of my physical self.
I love Jesus and I worship him in my day dreams.
I'm 21 and I don't remember when I started to live in the ideal world but I remember when I dream when I am 5, I always remember everystep of my life because I modified them in my world almost 2or3 times everyday.
Despite all of this I don't who I am in this world until recently, at which time I realized that I'm sick, i'm a Medical student and the top of the university, everything I thought as a gift suddenly come to be an illness, i'm living in the 3rd world contry where peoples are running for their basic needs " NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY".
Imagine my pain there is no one with me even the real me is gone because of...
I know I'm out of ur Idea but its because i'm always angry about my life.
Any ways u are the one with two brain one for the real world and one for the ideal.
Imagine what will happen if u come to the real world with ur to brains...

[Jenna]

@ Laura very true , like. I said the depersonlization/ derealization just makes my feelings overwhelming and I don't feel real.

@Sara That is also true,, hmm I'm going. To have to think about that one for a while.

[Sara Rose]

As a teen myself, I know what you're feeling. I ask that question myself, and have been through similar problems.

But you are a complex being, someone of layers and memories. You cannot answer "Who am I?" with a few words. You are relations and first birthdays, words and pictures. You are what you say and do. What you believe and who you love. Where you are is who you are right now, with all those things floating with you like balloons.

That's what makes you YOU.

[Laura Gardiner]

I think it's part of being human.  We all have moods and mindsets and ways of being when we feel most like ourselves, but we are complex, dynamic beings.  When we're around different people, we often adapt.  When we experience unacceptance, we often hide.  So many states of mind can exist in the same individual.  In my case, the feeling of losing my soul was from trying not to let myself feel emotions I believed were unacceptable.  I didn't let myself be real, because I was afraid that certain things about myself weren't okay.  I still do that, but I'm getting tons better.  Anyway, this is a normal thing.  I think most teenagers start to lose themselves when they enter a world that bombards them with expectations of how they're supposed to be.