Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Hi everyone. This is new to me... talking to people about my mental habits and what not. I recently saw a study about overactive imagination. After reading about it and watching videos/lectures on it I realized that I have the habits and traits of it. After doing further study I heard about <maladaptive Daydreaming. This is my exprience with it
I have a fantasy world and when I'm bored, stressed or overstimulated I got there. I have had it for like 10 years. The fantasy land has rules and an ongoing story, sometimes my irl life struggles bleed into it and of course I am the main character... I am bold, powerful and literally everything I'm not in reality. One main point of this "fantasy story" is the villain or at least antagonist against me, in my story our souls/mind fused and we were able to communicate and think together. He was every negative and rude feeling or thought I had embodied. Everything I wish I could say he would say, everything I wish I could do he did. He was a way for me to be the truthful mean person. Even when I wouldn't play the game or fantasy... even if I was on my break at work I would talk and have a conversation with him. I realized I started doing outside of the game when a major event happened in my life. Since that point I talked to him as if he was my other personality, or my other half, but I of course knew he was fake. It reminded me of a book called "You Never Promised Me a Rose Garden", and while I knew what was and wasn't reality, it still was a part of me. My point here is that last week I wanted to change things up in the game. I wanted him to die and for it to be a catalyst for me to be more venturous and outgoing, to be more like him. Well in the story he died, and I had it so the rules and setting of the story was that he physically wouldn't be able to come back, reincarnated or brought back to life. After this happened I realized I stopped talking to him on my breaks, I stopped thinking as him, or thinking or questioning what he would of thought of this scenario or what just happened in real life, and I also realized today that I haven't played the game or have struggle finding the will to play the game since he died. I know its healthy to having stopped this maladaptive daydreaming, but it was such a coping mechanism and such a big part of my life that I feel so empty without it and its weird. I know I should be glad, but I miss it so much.
This will be a post of many to come probably, please let me know if anyone else has their own fantasy world or their own "darker half".