Lonely Daydreaming

[Mahe]

I have been a daydreamer for most part of my life. Childhood trauma kicked in and i did not have any choice.  I am active but i have distanced myself from the society. I did not concentrate on my career, I never had a girl friend all i have is an imaginary girl, I want to break this cycle by having a girlfriend,  But in India it is hard to find one. A one side love and rejection is only making this worse day by day. A good part of my life is wasted on daydreaming, Yet i am coming back and breaking the cycle but i am unable to do so in this regard. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I understand. I daydreamed since I was a kid, thinking my future was going to be Ok and happy. The truth kicked me in the face. I learned hard and fast that everything takes effort, testing and falling. Problem is I actually believed things will eventually come to me, easy said and done, but I was an idiot. Nothing happened! I decided to keep dreaming and sleeping in my cocoon not doing the work, so I can get better results. My childhood, youth and early adulthood went by. Now I'm facing life on my own, trying to pick myself back up, seeking new work and a new life. Meanwhile, everybody I grew up with already had it figured out years back. In spite, I'm 37, it's a terrifying experience, learning so late how wrong I am, where that's lead me today. What I have to do to survive and get ahead all over again. Especially when I have no real friends and a boyfriend in my life. I kick the shit out of myself for not listening to people's really good advice. I would've been a much happier person today.