Life and all..

[Harley Penguin]

It's been probably at least a year that I've been logged in. I have been struggling so bad with life lately. I have three teenage children, who I solely am responsible for, and I can't keep a job for the life of me. Over the last two years I've quit 6 jobs within the first few weeks due to anxiety, and the want to stay home and daydream. I have also been diagnosed with agoraphobia by my PCP, with panic disorder as well. I don't know if anxiety, and MD goes hand in hand, but both have been getting worse lately. I see a Psychiatrist this week, but I am so reluctant to mention my MD, because I know some therapists don't even recognize it as a real disorder. I want to know if there is a certain specific treatment for MD. As much as it disrupts my life, I've been a little upset lately. My doctor has started me on a new medication for my anxiety, and I feel my creative (mostly MD) side has diminished almost completely. Before the new med, I would write and be very artistic, but now, I have no real creativity to me anymore, and it saddens me. Do you have to sacrifice a piece of yourself to gain a bit of sanity? I feel as if it's an unfair trade off, not that the new meds are helping a heck of a lot  with my anxiety. I've come to a point in my life where I don't know what I am going to do anymore. I can't provide for my family anymore, and I know it's going to take at least a year to get disability, if I even can.. I want to be "normal" when it comes to being able to work, and be a productive member of society, but, I also want the unique and creative side of myself too. I'm not sure where I'll go from here, but it's a scary and dangerous voyage.

[DebbieP.]

You need to tell your psychiatrist about the MDD.  If they haven't heard of this addiction, once you describe it they should understand it immediately.  I understand that you want to be creative, so you'll miss your MDD but to what end does DDing help you in the real world?  Do you sell your stories to help feed your children?    I don't want to come across as unsympathetic here, but you have 3 children who depend on you.  You've quit 6 jobs so you can stay home and DD.  I"m not a psychiatrist but I've struggled with MDD for over 50 years and learned that it is an addiction.  One that can be controlled.  Just like over eating.  I wish you the best of luck.

[Eretaia]

If you're not going to mention MD to your psychiatrist, your visit is completely futile. It is like telling them you have depression but not mentioning you're a drug addict. Fantasy addiction is not unheard of in psychiatry and if a psychiatrist knows how to use a brain, he will know to introduce you to a proper approach. Instead of saying you have some newly found disorder they have never heard of, just say you have a debilitating addictive habit that's consuming both your mental energy and time. You cannot make a mistake here. But if you don't mention this, then they can never give you a proper therapy. 

Secondly, severe MD, anxiety and panic disorders need psychotherapy, not just medication. In many cases, medication will just mask the symptoms and you'll stop one negative aspect of the disorder but another one will appear. If you feel that your doctor just prescribes you meds and doesn't care about getting to the core of your problem, change the doctor. Ultimately, you don't have to sacrifice absolutely anything to get better. But before you can reach this point, you have to throw away your safety zone and walk right into your fears.