Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
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I had the same struggle. The fantasy characters are so real, so lifelike, that it's traumatic to hold the idea in your mind that they are actually as impermanent as sand paintings. They are made of nothing more than thought. Why is it that we daydreamers have such an easy time trading off three-dimensional, brick and mortar reality, for something that is so much less than reality, that is only made up of mental conjecture? That is made up of nothing at all? The world with everything in it, from the Grand Canyon to the astonishments of the microscopic world, we reject.
Let me get to what I wanted to say to your post. The reason that we utterly believe our daydreams to be as real and as potent as real life is because we do, and have done so for a long time. Of course by now our fantasy characters are vivid and almost have lives of their own. Anything would be, if a person thought about it that long and wished for it that long. Your fantasies will lose their realism to the extent that you value your reality more. If you take more stock in the world around you, and live there as if it's the only place you do in fact "live," then you may find your characters deflating in your mind in realism and importance. Your emotional reactions to them will be less intense. Your concern for them will lessen. Soon you'll find that some characters you no longer care for at all. This has been my experience.
One of the most important things for a daydreamer to understand, I think, is that the daydreams and fantasies are the products of our imagination. We get so carried away in the experience of our imaginings that we forget this. It is erroneous to mistake your own identity for whatever you have daydreamed. As wonderful as they are, they do not take over our lives. They do not ever become independent from us. We are in control of the experience at all times and have always been. I found that it was within me to create the daydream and imagination experience. I could therefore only conclude that it is within me to create a different way of being in the world, one that did not involve daydreams and fantasies.
Roobles, I can relate to the zombie feeling. It is like you are just exsiting in the real world and living in the fantasy one.
Bilbo, "I'm losing empathy and emotional grounding in my real life."
that is a great way to explain it. I have the same problem.
hey there,
i know exactly how you feel. it's starting to become a real problem for me because I'm so interwoven in my fantasy life that I'm losing empathy and emotional grounding in my real life. I'm having trouble connecting with my friends, and even my family, and am losing all sense of emotional connection to them. the worst part is that I try to tell myself that it's a problem, and that i'm worried about it--but i don't feel anything...
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