Introduction / How I reclaimed my Daydreams

[Claire Marie Louise]

Hello everyone, 

I am a new member, and like many others very relieved to find out that I am not alone. Since I was a child I have been living in my own fantasy world, daydreaming about many cool adventures. Unfortunately I cannot remember why or how I created the world, there are even rules in it that I cannot easily change or remove. 

The odd thing is, 2 years ago I was unable to use the world. You know in those movies where they discover ruins of an ancient city? It was exactly like that, everything was frozen (which was weird because most of my fantasy world used to be a desert) I could wander around some buildings, but everyone was gone. 

I still don't know why this happened, I always thought that it was because I fell in love for the first time. I kind of 'left' my fantasy world and started daydreaming about real life situations (guess I had never done that before). Since I didn't enter that world anymore, my mind must have blocked it off thinking it was not necessary. 
After my feelings for this person had faded away I realized what had happened and started to panic. For the past two years I was unable to enter the world I had lived in for so long. I searched the internet for help, but could not find anything. 
'Real life daydreaming' (about my real self and real people) had become a substitute and after some time I had accepted it, thinking it was just normal when growing up and that it was better this way. 

But a couple of weeks ago, I tricked my own mind..
My friend uses a 'Mind Palace' (Method of Loci) to remember things, and a couple of weeks ago I started to do some research on it. I also tried to use it, but the memories of my fantasy world were getting in the way. My friend asked  me why I didn't use those places to store information, so I tried it even though I was very anxious, who knows what might happen?  Though what did happen was something I could never imagine. The buildings started to regain their colors, as if the ice was melting. This didn't mean I could use it again, but I could walk in the buildings and add more detail or color. 

A few days later, when I was daydreaming about a real life situation, the characters of my fantasy world invaded my daydream. Long story short, they abducted me to the fantasy world I had created when I was a child. 
At the time I was very excited but also very afraid. What if it was only a one-time thing? 

Now I am living adventures everyday and trying to create a balance between daydreams and living the real life. I am very proud of myself yet I do see how dangerous it can be. 
If there is anyone out there with the same problem I had I would love to hear about it! 

I plan to blog about my world every now and then, hopefully I can help others with their problems in finding this balance. 

See you ~ 

C.M.L. 

[Claire Marie Louise]

@Audrey: Thank you for your comment! I can understand how you feel. There are some days when I don't get to daydream very much or someone interrupts me, and I tend to get very stressed and annoyed. I often realize it's not fair te react like that, so I explain that I just need some time for myself. Like when I'm in the bus going home from work I take the time to daydream and I explain to others that it is a very important moment for me. 
But I can understand that in the beginning of a relationship it is very difficult since you spend a lot of time together (not that I don't spend a lot of time with my boyfriend anymore but you spend the time differently). Maybe you can explain to him how you feel? You don't need to explain in detail, just in general maybe.. 

[Audrey]

I just started dating this guy. I really like him but I'm in the vulnerable state of the relationship and I'm very prone to stress and anxiety. Since all of this has started I haven't been able to daydream to escape my stress and get me to sleep. I'm exhausted and tense all the time. I wish I could get back to my secret world. It isn't out of control anymore like it used to be it had actually gotten to the point where it was in a harmonious balance with the rest of my life. But I just feel like I would feel so much more relaxed if I could spend a couple of hours in my fantasy world everyday. I just don't know how to make that happen.

[Ivy White]

Thanks, it means a lot to me that I can help other people with my story.

[Claire Marie Louise]

Thank you Ivy and Jordy! 

@Ivy: Yes I read about it on your blog :) Reading your posts made me think about becoming a member. 
I agree with that, it's very interesting to see how each person deals with things in a different way. 

[Ivy White]

Welcome too! I also had my fantasy world dry up when I fell in love for the first time. I think how emotionally engaged you are in the real world can influence a lot how you manage your alternate realities.

[Jordy]

Hello and welcome, I just read your story and i know how it feels to just discover that you have mdd and what a relieve it is that u are not alone

anyway if you wanna talk or need some advice u can message me anytime byebye

[Claire Marie Louise]

Thank you!

[Roel]

Welcome CML!

I'm curious to see what you write about your world :)