Internal Fighting..........

[Silla Bakht]

It makes me depressed when someone watch me doing MDD .because the face expressions are totally different.A lot of time i decided to tell my sis bcz she is the only one in this world who understand me alot but it's very hard for me to tell her.Sometime i feel that i am the most lonely person in this world.I feel that i have no life,no real moments, no real expressions,no real feelings to share with any one and to share with my own self.I feel that i have no life.i used to work at morning and in the rest of the day i do MDD.I had a very good habit of reading which has removed.i also feel that this MDD make my I.Q zero.My all capabilities of learning and understanding are totally destroy.I have losts my family confidence and lost everything.I always try to do a new thing with a very hopeful intention but MDD is a big hurdle.How can i make me free from this prison.I am depressed and the worst thing is It's my "internal fighting" between my "mind" and my "will" and my mind always "win" and my will always "defeat"........

[Silla Bakht]

Thanxz for sharing your advise i 'll search it.

[Forget-Me-Not Fairy]

I often feel like this too!!! I feel that I'm completely trapped inside my head and I just exist rather than live a life. For a while now my memory has been a complete sham but i'm not sure whether it's the constant day dreaming, my depression or my drinking. I find I can have a really positive day where I do no day dreaming and get on doing real things but then it can be followed by several really bad days... I'm afraid I don't have a remedy but I completely understand how you feel... I hope you can find a way for your "will" to win over your "mind" some day! xxx 

[Windy City Day Dreamer]

I have often felt the same way.  Afterwards I feel such guilt when I would give into maladaptive daydreaming.  I have not told my father about my maladaptive daydreaming and am hesitant to do so because he was critical of me growing up. You are not alone. 

I have been reading the following book and I have found it helpful for me to understanding MD and its role in my life and ways to breakthrough through this addiction: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-By-Step-Wholeness-Cutting-E... 

 

The book uses Internal Family Systems Therapy. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Family_Systems_Model  I have come to understand that maladaptive day dreaming is a subpart of my personalty that tries to protect me from pain.  I also have another subpersonalty which is "pushy" that makes me feel guilty about my maladaptive daydreaming.  Both of the subpersonalties are seen as "protectors."  Two parts are polarized because they are battling each other to determine how I feel  or behaves in a certain situation. My pushy part makes me feel guilty after I have a MD episode. The goal of IFS is to us my true self, my spiritual center,  to distinguish these parts and heal myself. The client’s Self is the agent of psychological healing in IFS therapy.  I am looking for anIFS therapist now but the book is helpful even without going to an IFS therapist.  I have gone through cognitive therapy but that therapy has just made really just look at my triggers and I need to go deeper which is why I think IFS will help me in my recovery.  I hope this helps.