i stopped

[rita]

hi, i used to daydream obssesively and stopped for the past 8 or 9 years. I had a character that acompanied me since i was 12 (she was 21) untill i stopped at 26-27 (by then she was 38-40). I had all her life dawn out and added details as i (and her)where aging. also i had another charcter that was younger than the first (she came into my life around 17 and was my age). I had everthing drawn out for them, their paernts siblings boyfirends lovers , their grandparents... everything. And as i got older so did they and i had more detail to fill in...I haven't heard from them since 2002 and i don't miss them at all. I have real people and real experinces. Life isn't what you want it to be all the time by alter-egos , or alter-worlds don't susbsitute life. go live life whenver you feel like indulging into fantasies. Just try to snap your brain out. I guess people like us (although i'm not addicted anymore your never really cured of an addiction - just like an alcoholic) can't be alone during long periods of time, i guess we need peolple to distract us from our brain - which - i know - can be so wonderful. Guess what? We don't need it- i don't need it anymore, so i guess none of us needs it. Just one question to all of you: Does anybody know anyne who has stopped? maybe together we can figure out how we did it?
thanks

[Katrina]

you know, i stopped for a while too at the beginning of this year.  I was in a relationship with someone I loved very much, so i found myself not needing that fantasy or escape because i was with her.  but the relationship was still unhealthy, so by the end i was starting to daydream again and now that we've broken up, i'm right back where i started.  i guess having healthy relationships is the best way to combat it, huh?

[April West]

thanks rita, what you said did help. That's my main problem - I spend waaaay to much time alone. I'm workin on it, just have to build up my self esteem and confidence a lot. Really great to see you got a hold of it :-)

[lxxxphysixxxl @ yahoocom]

Rita i also have overcome my daydreaming with that same method. It works but you must have the willpower to stop.

 

I think it combines an urge to really want to stop daydreaming on a subconscious level and an effort to taking the initiative to make yourself stop. I can even concentrate while listening to music now. If i make the effort.  Well done im very happy to hear you overpowered it.

[rita]

hi April. i've been thinking since last night, and i guess what i'm going to say may seem to simple for you. I think i started (11-12) because i was unhappy with my family so i imagined wonderful parents. Things got bad when i was in college because i had always been a top student and i guess i started being afraid to fail and instead of studying i just daydreamed. Also i could'nt relate to anyone romatically although i was very sociable, so i imagined boyfriends. i guess i was really frustrated and began fantasizng alternate realities where everything was great. So, things got better, when i started taking zyprexa that concided with having a new job with peolpe that i felt weren't going to judge me, so i had nothing to proove, so i started going out and not being alone anymore ,and one thing led to another, and i met a really nice guy and thought "I'm not going to fantasize with him because everything i daydream of never comes true and i really want things to work out for me with this guy" and i just stopped. I think this answer is more complex than it seems. I think it envolves a series of factors: medication, new friends, not being afraid to be judged, new life,  love. I guess i just stopped being frustrated and most of all i stopped being alone. Because i ddreamed when i was alone (in my room, on a train, in a coffee-shop, on the street) and i was constantly alone with my brain. Is this helping at all or just frustrating you? Can you help me to help you? One more thing. Please note this: everything i dreamed of never came true so i just stopped daydreaming because i wanted to have a nice life. I remember repeating this to myself when i was about to start daydreaming, and this was how i began to snap out my brain.

[April West]

Rita!!!!!!!!! Please please tell me how you stopped... Did you find what was causing the daydreams? Do you feel comfortable sharing this? I have started reading some books in depth, trying to get to the root of my problems...

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Yay, it worked!  Thanks for sharing!