But honestly: I haven't tried. I guess I just don't want to. I've thought about it, but I can't imagine living without daydreaming constantly. It's just something I have to do. I can't be happy without it. At least it feels that way. But at the same time, daydreaming has caused me more pain than anything else in the world. And it's all because of that stupid day when I watched the video that changed my fantasy world forever. I DD about real people. But they've been broken up in the real world for two years. They're youtubers. I used to be able to switch characters easy. I can't anymore. There's something about the pair that I can't let go. But the thing that kills me the absolute most - every single day - is that she has been dating a new guy for over a year. Every day I think about what I'll do when they get engaged. I know it will happen. I just don't know what I'm going to do then. It'll hurt me more than anything has before, I know it. And I know that my characters will never get back together. I just want to quit. Except that I don't. Maybe I just want to stop worrying about it every day and stop being sad and stop hurting. MD is just like a curse to me. I wish I could just be happy hanging out with my friends and going to the movies like everyone else.
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