Histrionic personality disorder

[quentin]

Some of you mentioned ADHD or SPD in order to explain their Daydreaming addiction.
After further research, I think mine is deeply conected to Histrionic Personality Disorder although it would desserve the diagnose of a specialist.

I did not think about it because many descriptions point to the fact that this disorder occurs mainly within the female personality, but apparently a few males also have the disorder with synthoms that lightly differs.

My daydreams are mainly oriented on me as a center of attraction, on how I impress people. Whatever great thing I do, there is always an observer who is impressed and displays admiration.

As far as I can remember, I have been always in need i my relationship with other people in order to secure my own self esteem. I have been craving it for years especially since adolescence. So here is the thing: when other are not here to grtify me, I just unfold storyline of self gratification.

To my mind, daydreaming is clearly derivative of my histrionic tendencies. It is as symptomatic as someone who go on drugs to relieve emotional pain and become addicted, creating an additional issue.

[quentin]

@ Cordellia:

I think daydreaming is a complex and multifaceted issue and there are more than one motivation to do this (that you already know).
To Luke and me, the narcisstic feature is dominant. Other people are mere mirrors which reflect and secure our own identity (through unlimites awe and admiration). They are somewhat "empty shells" that are here to be filled with our self image. Given his description, Luke would probably agree with that. At some point, there are persons we admire and I think they are more likely to appear in our daydreams as displaying admiration for us. There are mirrors that are more valuable than others.

Now, it is my dominant daydreaming trait, but I also have other, like love stories, fantasy tales, or erotic scenarios. But I am definitely addicted to narcisstic stories. Sometimes, the line between thinking and daysreaming is tenuous. I start thinking about something and I find myself about the possible way to impres people.

[quentin]

Hey Luke,
I face quite the same issues regarding self diagnose.
I firstly though I had NPD because of the insatiable quest of glory haunting my daydreams.
The big difference is nevertheless that whereas the narcissist is convinced that he desserves considerable admiration because he has a special fate, I know that I search for glory because I have low self esteem.
I think it makes a big difference, because we are conscious that seeking attention is relating to a floating sense of identity. This is not just a difference revolving around gender.
I also daydream sometimes about people talking about me and how special I am. This is the critical point where you only exist through someone else's eyes.

At the same time there are features of histrionic personality disorder that doesn't fit. HPD persons are described as shallow in their attitude and thinking toward other people. They are also depicted as lacking self introspection. I do not fit with this description. I am conscious of my disorder whennever I play a role or daydream. I don't think I am shallow in my interractions with other people.

Actually, my self is split between my narcisstic impulses and my need to think and understand other people. For instance, I can FEEL good when someone congratulates me while I KNOW he(or she) is wrong. Sometimes, I seek advice from people whereas I perfectly know my understanding of the matter is at a higher level. At some point I can think in a very systematic manner and still have a diffuse feeling of insecurity. It really pisses me sometimes.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Luke, a lot of us are central characters in our fantasies, and our characters can achieve things we could never dream of. It does make us feel sorta narcissistic, but I'm sure there's something else going on. We do this out of a need, and many of us are highly empathetic to our other characters and to other people. That completely goes against NPD. Please read more of the forums when you get a chance. I think you'll relate.