Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest


I probably should have guessed that pacing around for hours on end obsessing over events and people that exist only in my mind wasn’t normal. I did have some suspicions, but I never thought my habit of ‘thinking’ was something like MD. I’ve had an active imagination my entire life, but I don’t think it was excessive until I was about eight years old, maybe a bit younger. Nothing traumatic happened to me, so I can’t really say why I started daydreaming so much. As far as I can remember, daydreaming was just what I did when I wasn’t occupied with anything. If I wasn’t doing homework, watching videos, playing a game, or in a conversation, I was daydreaming about absolutly everything. Mostly it was mini-stories and characters based off of emotions, toys, characters from movies and books, or my surroundings. There wasn’t one coherent story at first, just a bunch of little daydreams strung together. But it was very pleasant , and I enjoyed it immensely.

Then one day it occurred to me that I could make anything I wanted inside of my head. I wasn’t limited to what other people had thought up. I could create any scenario, any character, any set of rules for any universe within my daydreams. That’s when I started daydreaming more seriously. I made up my own story, with my own characters. I loved being able to decide what happened and how they felt. It was like watching a movie, except I could see anything I wanted to happen in it. I was constantly working on my story, from dawn until dusk. If I wasn’t occupied with something else, I was inside my head obsessing over some scene of my story. I only told one person about what was happening in my story, no one else. It was extremely important to me.

I hit an emotional low point in 7th grade that lasted through the first half of 9th grade. I didn’t make any close friends, besides the one I told my story to, and at that point in my life I became convinced I never would, or at least I could never maintain another friendship like that. I poured my negative emotions into my daydreams, my one coherent story. Suddenly the sanctuary of my head wasn’t such a nice place, either. I didn’t know what else to do though, so I kept daydreaming. Eventually, I had had enough. I was rid of my negative feelings, but in the process I let go of my favorite daydream. With my new mindset, I thought that was the end of my problems. But I was wrong. Something wasn’t quite right. Everyone else around me seemed to be getting involved in the real world, like helping with the community, going the extra mile for a certain faction, things like that. While I, though having excellent grades and a clean behavioral record, wasn’t at all interested in putting myself out there. I was trying to make a decent artist out of myself, as I had picked up a love of drawing, but even in the art community there were people writing out their stories and character designs and turning them into something more official at least. I couldn’t stop daydreaming and changing around events in my head to write or draw anything official from my stories(which I did create more, but I’m trying not to invest too much in a single daydream alone). I realized that I was spending a lot of time unproductively in the real world, though the term ‘daydreaming’ hadn’t even occurred to me. I started searching the internet for something that described me, perhaps a personality type or preferred way of thinking. I wasn’t expecting maladaptive daydreaming, and I definitely wasn’t expecting to find articles online that described so perfectly what was going on inside of my head. MD just fit me to a T. I could not believe it. When I thought about it, my love of daydreaming was akin to a feeling of need. I walk around in circles when I daydream, and my daydreams have often been greatly inspired by movies and books. I tried giving my daydreaming a rest for a while, but this urge to go back inside my head kept pulling me back. This whole realization put me in a state of panic. When something upsets me or leaves an impression, I usually don’t deal with my emotions all at once over a few days. I draw it out over weeks or months, and this time was no exception. I’ve actually had this account for about a month now, but I couldn’t bring myself to do anything on it. I’m still pretty freaked out, but I think I at least know my stance on my daydreaming. I don’t want to stop, not completely anyway. But I have to be able to put my daydreams aside long enough to progress in the real world. I’m still in highschool, so it hasn’t been too much of a wrench in things yet, but things are catching up with me. Many people in my grade already have part time jobs, and I’m still not super involved in anything I don’t absolutely have to be. I don’t want to be left behind, but I don’t want to give up daydreaming. Maybe there’s away I can use my daydreams to work with the real world?

I’m still trying to figure things out. I hope that maybe sharing my experiences will help other people here, and I hope that it will help me, too. :3

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Comment by The1andonlyAbber on May 21, 2015 at 7:47pm
Welcome! :-D
Comment by Olivia on May 11, 2015 at 3:14pm

I've got a couple more years of high school ahead of me, but I have a feeling that college will either make my daydreaming way worse or slightly better. 

Comment by Richard Quest on May 11, 2015 at 1:54pm
Lol I have a week of high school left. I wonder how my dd will change in college
Comment by Caitlin on May 11, 2015 at 1:14pm

Hey I'm in high school too! Its so hard living with this thing but I believe in you!!

Comment by Richard Quest on April 26, 2015 at 1:27pm

drawing and other artistic ways of expressing one's daydream is a good way to control it. I post my drawings and stories about my MD on my blog, and you should too! It helps make you daydream less and then you have something to show for it. Like pictures and stories! Welcome to Wild Minds, Olivia!

Comment by Agent53 on April 26, 2015 at 11:40am

Nice,best of luck..staying and being involved in site may help you.

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