hi

[S K]

So I came across the idea of MD in an article on Yahoo by Penny White. After Googling it reading half a dozen articles and checking the symptoms I’m pretty sure I have it. I’m not too good at writing online or typing things up in general. I went to the cyber café twice but deflected from doing anything. I don’t have access to the net on my laptop which I just started using so I am not able to type online but it forces me to start typing so it was a boon in guise I guess.

I realized I may have MD but I guess I have it in conjunction with other things, maybe depression and social anxiety. What struck me as I was reading the article was that the author took on a tedious job as a data entry operator just so she could continue to daydream and since I was on the verge of doing so and had been on the verge of doing so earlier I realized it.

It was like SHAZAM!!!(Seriously- Literally) and I kept getting lightning bolt like reactions as I read blogs, entries and descriptions. They were speaking to me and about me and with me and for me. Unlike others I believe my daydreaming is located in a traumatic and socially isolated childhood/adult years.

I’ve also been physically hurt more than a couple of times because when no one is there and my mind is furiously pedaling away theories I pace and walk around and I can’t count the number of times I have stubbed my toe, bumped my knee/head or banged my elbow.  Due to recent events I’ve noticed I start daydreaming while crossing the road and while watching television as well. I have become more observant recently but it’s also because my existing tendencies have become worse.

Living in a socially isolated environment has made my daydreaming worse.  I realized this for the first time a couple of years ago when I noticed I had gone at least a month, maybe more without daydreaming .This realization hit me since I didn’t remember the last time I had day-dreamt outside of the classroom. I had been so busy hanging out with people that I had no time or energy to do it and considering I had been happy and busy I didn’t need it as a coping strategy to deal with the world.

 I am sorry for the rambling, long sentences in case somebody is reading this. Another important observation is that gradually and slowly I have started to realize the frequency of mouthing dialogues is increasing. When I was younger what was happening in my mind rarely showed on my face but now it’s almost certain that it will. It started with the mouthing of dialogues and has progressed to hand gestures, enactments and upper body movements.

Earlier even if my lips moved it was only the dialogue I was saying in my mind and now it’s progressed to the dialogue each character is saying including mannerisms such as tone and accent. Also sounds are beginning to come out, only slightly and only I can hear them because they are mainly air and I am extremely soft-spoken but it is beginning to scare me. I’m worried about the scares and the looks and the fact that people may think that I am schizophrenic due to family history (my mother’s brother) though since I can differentiate very clearly between fiction and reality  I am sure I don’t have it.

There are somquotes/lines from other posts that “get me”. I’ll post those after this posting.

 

[S K]

MatthewR -unfortunately I am stuck, but I am trying to get a job to get out more often.I don't make friends easily so a change in environment is likely to perpetuate MD rather than reduce it.

Haou- Thanks. When I realized I hadn’t day dreamt I was ecstatic but I didn’t have anybody to share it with or to keep me on track once life moved on.

Rafael- Glad to see there are people in the same boat.

[Rafael Hernandez]

sure, daydreaming with social anxiety/depression is possible, and it makes things worse, but in any case there is hope and you are not alone in this, many people like me understands you.

[Haou]

Yeah I can definitely relate to a lot of this. I also practically act out my daydreams sometimes. I'm also kinda unaware of my surroundings too, and bump into things all the time. Hope things are going well:)