Fantasy Self v. Real Self

[Lily]

I Haven't really fantasized much this weekend at all. I didn't really do it much last week either. I like this blog section because I'm thinking it will be good for me to write about my daydreaming. I have a hard time knowing when/why I daydream more or what sets it off. This weekend I just hung around most of the time, just like every other weekend. Did some xmas shopping with my bf, went out to eat, going out to eat again tonight. I guess I overall felt pretty good about life, excited about xmas. I still went to bed earlier than my bf on Fri and Sat so I could be alone to do some daydreaming. Still not sure what the difference between this weekend is that I didn't daydream much. I didn't make any effort to go out or see friends this weekend, which is typical for me. I saw some pictures of myself from a weekend when I went out to a bar with some friends. I thought I looked good that night, but the pics beg to differ. I desperately wish I looked as perfect and gorgeous as I do in my fantasy world. Maybe my self-esteem has been negatively impacted by my "fantasy self." I mean, I'm so beautiful in that world and people are so obsessed with me, how can I not be disappointed with my "real self"? When I think about it, it's cruel what I've done to myself. The creation of my fantasy self has set me up to endlessly be unsatisfied by what I see in the mirror. No matter what I do, go tanning, spend $$ on ibraces to fix my teeth, do my hair perfectly, I'll NEVER like what I see in the mirror. If you could see my fantasy self, if I could manifest her, you wouldn't blame me. I wonder how much different I would be, how much different my life would be if I never developed this intense fantasy world?

[Beth Davies]

Hi Lily,
I just got into this today as I am setting out, literally today, on writing a novel about the experiences of a young woman who has a fantasy life and would rather live in that then in reality.
I don't think that I've actually really experienced this problem although I think I've touched on it, which is why I wanted to write the book. But I hadn't really talked to anyone to find out anymore information and just started googling to see what was out there and this led me to you.
I was just so touched when I read your blog and wanted to send a word of support, and to let you know of my project. I'm hoping to see it through to completion and that it will help draw some focus to this issue, but it could easily be a year or so before I'm there.
Anyway thought I'd drop a line, do get in touch if there's anything more you would like to say, or if there's anything in particular you think would be worth including in my writing. It's quite a venture so all support and advice is appreciated!
All the best in the new year,
Beth.