Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I realize now why I don't want to stop daydreaming- it's because without MD, I'd still be an awkward person and socially inapt. The only difference is that I'd have no tangible reason for it. MD is something with a name that I can claim as a part of me. Without it, I would go back to being just a weird kid, for no reason at all.
I just want to be something. Anythinig. I have no sense of "me". I guess you could say that I'm scared of the real world, and what it would do to me if I faced it without my daydreaming shield. My life is spiralling down. I'm missing all the deadlines for college apps and financial aid applications. My only friends and I are growing apart. My emotional immune system is down. I'm constantly getting more and more hurt by people because I expect them to be like the kind people in my daydreams. I'm regressing.
I don't know what I want, because I don't have a "me" to want anything.