Daydreaming, a gift.

[Miles]

I just registered to this website after stumbling upon this article http://www.youbeauty.com/mind/maladaptive-daydreaming - I had no idea this condition had a name and although I really like the idea of people openly talking about it, I'm sad that the 'maladaptive daydreaming' comes with such a negative connotation. I admit that there are definitely downsides to this habit and I can understand that some of us have a harder time than others, but I found that -even though MD keeps me from certain progress in 'real life'- it also enriches my 'real life' in very many ways.

If life is a bundle of memories, emotions, thoughts, connections and intense experience then our imagined world can add life to life. I agree that you need to find a way to manage or balance it, but I've 'really' learned a lot from the experiences I had that aren't considered as real. I sometimes catch myself understanding myself better thanks to it, and apply the experience in real life. If you can analyze your daydreams, the story lines, the tendencies,... you can learn a lot about your subconscious, about your internal drive, your true motives and yes, your stumbling blocks. This understanding can propel you forward in real life.

A friend of mine has the same positive way of looking at his 'condition' as me and he's gone a lot farther in surrendering to the dreams to the point where he couldn't remember anymore whether entire story lines had really happened or not, whether they were part of the real, or the imagined. This can happen easily, since you can feel a stronger connection to the imagined than you do to the real. We discussed this and I think the difference was that he embraced the daydreaming from very early on, whereas I condemned and fought it when I was about 16 or 17 cause I realized back then how it could cause me a lot of trouble to just keep going the way I did.
Knowing there is no way I could ever really stop (and I'm not sure I would even want to) I gave myself a couple of rules to follow that gave me the feeling I could control it to a certain extend.

Ultimately, this thing is part of my life and being able to do it is part of my personality, of my identity. It's part of why I'm able to work in the creative sector. It is something I'm proud of and even before reading about the name I used to tell people about it, mention 'daydreaming' when it felt honest and authentic. Most people responded rather curious than judgmental.
I'd like to encourage everyone to love that part of yourself and find a way where you can use this ability as a tool, where you can control it instead of it controlling you. But don't fight all of it, cause in many ways it is a gift. Very expensive acting seminars are being given for people to develop that kind of imagination. World famous actors would kill for it - unless of course they're like us and they have it already :-)

[Miles]

Yes, I agree. I had it easy the past ten years. I had a very 'abnormal' lifestyle, very exciting and with constant variation. My relationships weren't very stable or long term and I was moving a lot for my work. Now that I settled down in one place and working on a steady workplace I feel the MD hitting a lot of walls. I recently got into a serious relationship as well and that is definitely the biggest challenge for me so far. I guess if my work didn't involve as much creative work I would have a hard time dealing with the stability of that too.

Thank you all for sharing! This is really nice...

[Lt C]

What you say makes a lot of sense. I do feel like it is a part of me. Half of me says try and get rid of it and the other says this is who you are. I just don't want it to get in the way of my marriage. That is the hardest part of it I am dealing with right now :(

[Miles]

You're most welcome Michael, ... glad I can help. I was able to find out a lot about who I was and what my actual deeper interests were that way and then managed to steer my real life in that direction. Because of the (non real) experiences that I lived through in MD I became quite successful, relatively quickly in the fields that I pursued after envisaging them in the daydreams.

[Inside Out]

I guess Im in that love/ hate fog. I hate when it prevents me from expierencing my real life... hours spent someplace else and being unable to pull myself from the grasps of this other reality.... My kids playing video games while I lock myself in my room and check out...

 But, on the other hand, my Mds have released numerous creative ideas that have enhanced my life and inspired me to do things. Beautiful moments unfold in my brain that I turn into fables and stories to tell my children befor bed. My MDsy have also allowed me to work through a lot of emotionalk baggage a figure things out...

I don't know.. Its part of who i am. Im just in the processes of trying to steer it in a healthy direction that can enhance my life and not get swept up by it and use it to escape my life. It is both a challenge and a battle

[Miles]

Very true.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

On this site, I try to showcase the positive and negative aspects of MD.  Some view it as either positive or negative, but not me.  I can't see it as one or the other.  It's both.  (See the main page, right side, for evidence.)  

[Miles]

Thanks for sharing M. What you're saying sounds very familiar to me and I struggled with those very same traps. I no longer experience that long term disconnection from reality though and I can now vouch for daydream holidays and depression-free wake ups! Sounds like you're headed that direction. It helped me a lot to define things as 'the way I experience/see/hear them' rather than judging whether they're 'real or not'. Sometimes you're not sure and that's okay.