Where wild minds come to rest
i dont know if i can do this.....everyday is a struggle it gets harder and harder with each passing minute seems like every waking moment fantasizing is all i can think about....i ask myself why bother what will happen in the long run when life seems too hard to deal with without the daydreams....
i been so pissed off getting mad at everyone life and all its stresses was so much easier to deal with when i fantasized....im not sure what i think the end result will be i was hoping it would be me feeling better being confident and proud of who i was.....but im still not who i want to be and without the fantasies i feel empty and lonely......
i want to give in more than i ever have in the past 12 years but i dont and i keep asking myself why i dont.....i never wanted something so bad but i still refuse to give in but i feel like im getting weaker and its getting harder to say no.....its only day 13 but i feel i been at this for years....some moments im ok but what do i do when those moments come and im not ok?
when giving in would be so much easier than fighting it..... i want to come out on top and maybe all this struggle will make me who i want to be.....but what happens if it doesnt?
if your reading this whether you choose to leave a comment or not.... just knowing your reading this it helps to ease the burden....so i thank you...... all of you