Breaking point?

[Dea]

I'm typing this because it feels like signing a contract. I want to stop DD, right now, today, not tomorrow or next week or next month, now.

Simce I DD from early childhood, this will be my biggest challenge so far. And my biggest fear.

But I guess I've reached my breaking point. If I don't stop I'll go mad. I'm 21 and when I look back I don't recognize myself. I want my life back, actually, I want my mind back. I want to see things, see through a window without having millions of thoughts and stories passing somewhere between my eyes and mind.

 Sometimes I'm lying in bed and I 'wake up' from my DD and I wonder: How in the hell do I this?

Then, after that, I start pity myself for wasting my whole life, and after that.. I continue to DD.

So.. Contract signed. I feel silly doing this, but I have to start from somewhere and this is the right place. Wish me luck!

[Dea]

Aww. Thank you so much, for the support and everything. :) I really appreciate it, really. And for all of you who signed my contract too, good luck! :)

So, here's how things are going. Of course DD is still part of my life because it's now, after 21 years, a part of the way I'm thinking and I am aware that it will stay that way for a while. Simply, my mind goes crazy all the time, even when I'm learning, or watching tv, walking around the corner.. I'm gonna DD. It goes so naturally, it sneaks up on me, and I'm daydreaming without really being aware of it.

Good thing is... I'm not pacing anymore. I deleted all my music, I limited my internet access, TV is off for good. Basically, I have couple of things to do: 

1. Cleaning

2. Studying

3. Going put

First one is kind of a trigger, second one contains DD when I'm tired of it, number 3 is completely DD-free. 

I keep telling myself that at least Im trying. I have so much free time now, I'm doing stuff like writing (again, after loooong time), going to museums, theaters, cinemas,... It's been working pretty well. I see progress every day. Every day. I'm only afraid something horrible is going to happen and I'm gonna pace around all over again.

Thanks again for advices and support. :)

[Annie]

Well Good Luck Dea! =D

I feel sometimes the same way...like what am I doing with my life?! =/

I'm 18 years old and sometimes I feel like I'm missing out so much in life.  I also want to stop my MD too. I need too. So, I'll be here with you fighting MD along the way. Lets beat this once and for all!!! >=D

[Wish Upon A Wish]

Good luck! You may have heard this already but in case you haven't: You're not going to just stop and stay stopped from now on. You'll end up in a fantasy sometimes. When it happens, don't get pissed off at yourself; instead accept that you've slipped up and try to not let it happen again. Maybe try to figure out why you slipped up when you did, whether something triggered it, and avoid that trigger tomorrow. 

I should probably also add that I've never tried this for anything, but I've heard it many, many times and it sounds reasonable. Again, I wish you (And Soul Dreamer) good luck!

[Soul Dreamer]

Good luck, Dea!!  My cycle is very much like yours. I daydream, indulge in self pity, and then daydream some more. I think I shall join you in this contract, stopping right now, not tomorrow. So far I've been able to limit the amount of time per day, so I'm ready for the next step.

Again, good luck! :)

[Paracosm]

I admire your determination, Dea! And I completely understand your frustration. I'm 18 now, and for so long, I've enjoyed my fantasy world, and I admit that I still do—very much, but I wish I could live without it.

Please keep us updated on your progress. I'd love to hear how your contract works for you. ;) I wish I could stop in an instant, but unfortunately, I think my problem is much more deeply rooted than a problem of self-control, and until I remedy the real problem that has resulted in MD, I don't think I'll be able to stop daydreaming, because I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to try to pull the plug on my only coping mechanism.

I wish you the best of luck! :)