Back from College and I Finally get the MD

[K. Pow]

Hello! 

So, my last blog post was about how well I was doing. That's still happening. I am doing well- but I've realized why I developed MD in the first place. 

I've avoided going home for a really long time because it's a major trigger. My family complains constantly, but there's also nothing to do. These people do nothing all day, watch Netflix, and talk about how they're misunderstood. When I lived here, I had nothing to ether. Not only was I completely trapped here, but I had nothing productive to do. So I MDed to keep my mind alive! Once I got out of that, and I'm constantly doing things and being active, it's gone away. It's literally only an issue when I'm bored. When I'm with my friends, and I'm in a place I feel comfortable, then I don't MD at all. 

This really just means that I shouldn't have come home for as long as I did for Christmas. It's fine for a couple of days, but I already feel depressed and I've MDed more in the last two days than I had in literally 4 months of college. I feel stressed here, I'm constantly yelled at, and my brain needs something to do so desperately that It's inventing people and senerios to get through. 

I have the capability to be a happy, successful person. But when I'm at home, I'm stressed out and depressed. 

But I'm here until January now, and I don't know what to do. The less I'm in the house, the better- although there's not a lot I can do to leave. There are like 4 places I can go- and I'm not interested in seeing people that I know too. I've really moved on with my life, and I'm not about to get caught back up with living here. 

[againstrio]

I understand what you mean by the triggers and how staying busy helps. Try to hang in there until Jan... maybe try and enjoy the MD as an escape if you think you can easily drop it again when you get back to your life. At least you know and there's hope and now you can plan shorter trips.