Back for the 4th time

[zeina]

this is the 4th account i made on this site, i always stop logging in for a while then come back and forget my password.

i haven't been on here in like months, so the first thing i did when i opened this site was to read my old blog posts and after i read them i felt so proud.

 i still do daydream, like, i always make up scenarios for events i have coming, and i daydream before falling asleep and i'm okay with that because a year ago it was so much worse, i used to spend my whole day daydreaming, i used to daydream instead of studying, i used to spend 15 minutes in the bathroom rather than 5 because of daydreaming and i remember thinking that i needed to stop, that i needed to get my shit together and live my life the way a 15 year old girl would, so now getting closer to that feels good.

i read an old blog post of mine where i asked if i should tell my parents, and guess what? i did. i told them about it all and at first they payed real attention to it and my dad was angry he didn't like seeing me like that , he started telling me how i should make friends and go out, he tried to help and every couple of days he would ask me if i still daydream, and i think he didnt understand that it was much more complicated to just go away within a few days and he kept on like this for quite some time. but i do remember regretting telling them because they didn't really help, i think they didn't understand how big of a deal it was, so yeah it was all me. l

i know no one's going to be interested but i'm just writing this to tell you, if you daydream a lot and you feel like you need to stop, YOU CAN DO IT, but remember i doesnt happen in the blink of an eye but it HAPPENS.

i'm not saying that i got over it i didn't, i only have made a small progress, i still have a lot to work on.

and the main problem that i have, like this is what i hate the most, when i have an event coming up or a place to go or a visit so what i do is, from the moment i know i have this event i start daydreaming about what could happen and how would i react and i make up these all these conversations and i even daydream about running into someone in the streets and i hate it because i feel like i want to live in the moment not like think too much about anything and just let it happen.

so yeah i just wanted to write down any thoughts i had on this subject :).