Assuming We Can't Function

[Rachel S]

Sorry, I'm annoyed.

 

This might be slightly contradictory, because, my god, I don't suffer from MD as much as others here do.

 

So please please don't take this post into consideration if you suffer from MD really badly.

 

But I've noticed that from this forum that a lot of people here take the attitude that they simply can't function day to day with MD. They stay in, have no social life and basically have a dormant life.

 

Why? Is it really because of your MD or are you choosing to live in MD bliss instead of soldiering on in the outside world regardless?

 

This sounds so hard. I DD everyday. For hours. But let's face it, I know it isn't real. I know doctors won't help me. But what do I do? Allow this to take up my life, stay in and then when I'm old realise I've lived indoors and spent my life in my head? That one moment of realisation would kill me.

I don't know. I go to work and go on a night out once a week. God, I don't enjoy it. I daydream the whole time. But I'm alive. I won't use this as an excuse for not living my life.

 

I guess all I'm saying is that I'm sick of feeling that I'm not suffering as much as others here because it isn't as dibilitating.

 

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE. Make small changes at a time. But keep going outwards.

[roxanne]

I started a discussion in discusson forum on this subject.  So far, you & I & Meghan seem interested in assessing how much time spent on this.  Certainly if one is interested in controlling it - I am - or curtailing it -I'm not - assessing extent of it seems vital. 

[roxanne]

I like the idea, for those of us who are interested, but I can't figure out the logistics of it.

[Rachel S]

We could do that on here perhaps, Roxanne. One person could be in charge (maybe you, it was your idea) and you ask everyone what they're thinking at random times. And we'd have to be honest. Of course, only thing is that we tend to dip in and out of here at different times. So we'd have to get past that problem.

[roxanne]

There was a psychology study I read about, where the monitors called volunteers on their cell phones randomly & often & asked them what they were thinking about.  I thought it would be really interesting to do it.  At the time I was reading this, I didn't realize I was all that unusual.  A lot of people day dream a lot - I forget now the percentage of time - but I was struck by how boring their DD's were.  Most of them were either ruminations (no thanks) or thinking about dinner tonight, that sort of thing.  They said a very small percentage were Walter Mitty type DD's.  I'm sure that would be the general category we would fall under.  Although I also wonder how honest any other MD'ers were.  

I'm also often struck by how aware many people on here were at a very early age that their DD'ing was obsessive.  I really thought every body did pretty much the same thing, just didn't talk about it.

[debbie downer]

well. i sleep for 8 hours a night and there are 24 hours in the day. 24 - 8 = 16 hours that i'm awake. i wake up at 6 and daydream while i'm getting ready for school until i leave at 6:30, so that's 30 minutes. at school, i have 8 classes, and they're all 45 minutes long. so i guessed that i daydream for 15 minutes in each class (because i can't daydream when i'm busy, so i'm usually busy taking notes or something for the whole class except for 10 minutes), and 15 x 8 = 120, plus the 30 that i already daydreamed is 150. i get home from school at 3:00 and watch tv until 4 but usually i'm not paying attention, i'm just daydreaming. so that makes 210 minutes. then for the rest of the day i don't really pace around and daydream or lie down and daydream, i'll just do whatever i'm doing while daydreaming for a few minutes at a time while i'm doing it. then i do homework or go on the computer or something but i'll daydream for a few minutes at a time and i guessed that it all added up to 30 minutes, but sometimes when i'm doing homework i'll stop and daydream for like an hour... yeah, it's bad. but assuming it isn't one of those days, 30 minutes. so 200 minutes.  and i'll just add another hour and a half of daydreaming to cover how much i daydream for the rest of the day. :P so that makes 330 minutes that i'm daydreaming, and hours that i'm awake (16 x 60 = 960). 330 / 920 = 36. and i might daydream more, because i just guessed on everything and i don't really know how much i daydream for sure, so i just rounded it up to 40.

 

i daydream more in the summer when i don't have school, and less on days like today that i'm really busy and don't really have time to daydream. o:

[roxanne]

How did you do the math.  I think it would be interesting to figure.  Although my 2 worlds are so intertwined, I think it would be difficult.  Still I would be interested.

[debbie downer]

i did the math and discovered that i daydream 40% of the time that i'm awake, maybe even more. i know that sounds bad, but i do have friends. i hang out with them after school and i hardly ever daydream the whole time because i don't want to- i'm having a good time and i'm too busy to daydream. i get good grades in school (a's and b's). because of my daydreaming, homework takes much longer than it should because i usually have no interest in what my homework is about so i always zone out while i'm doing homework. but it gets done, and i get good grades. i daydream a lot in class, but if i take notes in class i'm too busy to daydream and i pay attention. i have fun outside of my daydream world. i do things on the weekends and i hang out with friends. but i'm in high school. all i want to do after school is relax and i end up daydreaming for hours. it sucks. on the weekends i sometimes have to force myself to go out, but i don't think that's because i'd rather daydream, i think it's just because i'm lazy. xD i could easily lay in bed all day and daydream, or pace all day long, but i have never done that and i'm not going to. there may be some days when i feel like doing that, but i'm not going to let my daydreaming take over my life. i think it's done that enough.

[Lightman]

Roxanne, I absolutely loved your soapbox speech! I'm copying it and saving it for a rainy day.

[Lightman]

It's a controversial subject, you said it very respectfully, I don't think that you are putting anyone down and more than anything else, this needed to be said! We  are not doing each other any favors by just playing it safe and polite.

 

I agree there is a severity scale,  it might biological... But there is virtually no research done on the field. The only thing I know for sure is that putting yourself in a mind frame of "it is impossible for me to..." Then yes it will be impossible. 

 

I love the biggest loser, I cry every week. Many of contestants were overweight toddler, then teenager and now extremely obese adults. They have tried everything, nothing works so they sit alone at home and eat their lives away... They come  to the ranch with the attitude "I can't lose weight". Jillian works the crap out of them, they sweat, hurl, cry, beg... But there comes a point when they start to believe that they can and then magic happens.

 

If you are a diabetic you can make life better by managing your diet and weight. If you are bipolar you can make life better by taking medications and having good routines. If you have MD you can make life better. There's a thread on this site of things that make the MD better! It's not going to be easy, but nothing worth having in life ever is.

 

[roxanne]

By biological, I am talking about the brain.  I think the part of one's brain that is involved with day-dreaming is either larger, more active(for sure), more easily accessible to us as a back-up position, etc.  I worked as a therapist in hospital research setting (on the brain) for many years and saw most traits that were considered "psychological" or a matter of choice often were well-rooted in our biology.  Just as epileptics or diabetics have a biological basis for their disorder, I believe we do, too.  We still have some choice as to how we react to it, but some, because of the extent of the biological foundation, have less choice than others.  Others are also dealing with such issues as depression, anxiety, OCD,  high sensitivity (reactivity), etc.  The more of these things one has to deal with, the more difficult it all is, as well.  Many things that have been thought by even the medical profession to be "all in one's head" have since been seen to be clearly biological: for instance, I remember when menstrual cramps were thought to be a woman's discomfort with being a woman; schizophrenia was brought on by a mother giving 2 conflicting messages; ulcers were caused by nerves; fibromyalgia was a woman's imaginings.  All these things , and countless others, have been shown to have a biological (medical, physical, chemical, or neurological) basis.  Because we were given this ability, we have to make the best use of it.  I doubt getting rid of it is a practical (possible) choice for most of us, at least until more is known.  But we need to learn to function as best we can, and this is the best therapy site for that.  That includes finding the positives in this, and realizing that we don't get it "all."  We don't have the same easy access to things that others find much easier.  But they also don't have the fantastic inner world we do.  Someone who is diabetic or  shy or in a racial minority or exceptionally brilliant or a million other things find that certain aspects of life are not as open to them as to others.  But they make the best with what they have.  I have noticed that people on this site are unusually bright, compassionate, brave, interesting.  We have to embrace what is ours'.  If only the rest of the world was a little more like us.  But then we need our movers & doers, too.  I guess the point is that we really need us all.  Sorry to get on my soap box.  You sound like a lovely girl, who is just trying to make sense of all of this, and that is not an easy thing to do.  Let me know if I can help in any way.  I promise not to lecture.