Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

Hello Wild Minds,

Oh wow I had a hard past two days.

1.) Husband has been out of town all week for work. (No one to vent to).

2.) On Thursday had an meeting with an amazingly smart scientist that just was...terribly awkward. I know I must have sounded like a complete idiot to him.

3.) Today got lunch with an internationally renowned scientist who is even more academically acclaimed (published in "Science" & "Nature") and I was totally awkward. I made a list of things to talk with him about and was too embarrassed to bring up any of it. My social anxiety literally is killing me.

4.) My cohort invited me out tonight.  I told them I'd go, but then I felt really socially awkward and overwhelmed and left. I just wanted to come home to be alone and daydream. Now I feel guilty and am worried they won't like me.

For those of you who don't know, I am a new doctoral student at a University I will not name. I have no idea if I can make it through my program or not, but will try like hell to make a contribution to science. Between losing sleep from DD-ing, over-analyzing (because I am constantly reliving and rerunning) social interactions, and losing focus in class to DD-ing...I don't know if I can do this. 

All I want to do is come home and daydream and not do any homework or reading at all. I am completely overwhelmed. Please send your support. I am in desperate need of support from those who understand MD.

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Comment by taffle on October 3, 2013 at 8:58am

Sounds like you had some bad days. Maybe the upcoming days will be better.

Comment by Aseel on September 29, 2013 at 11:39am

I have the same issue,I started my 3rd year at medical school two weeks ago,I was concentrating well in the beginning and then I just went back to daydreaming and neglecting study.I am much like you around people,I don't like socializing from the first place but my social anxiety surfaces when I have a question and I can't ask my professor so I tend to ask my colleague to ask on my behalf.I just can't find any desire nor energy when I tell myself I should study.

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