Where wild minds come to rest
Hello Wild Minds,
Oh wow I had a hard past two days.
1.) Husband has been out of town all week for work. (No one to vent to).
2.) On Thursday had an meeting with an amazingly smart scientist that just was...terribly awkward. I know I must have sounded like a complete idiot to him.
3.) Today got lunch with an internationally renowned scientist who is even more academically acclaimed (published in "Science" & "Nature") and I was totally awkward. I made a list of things to talk with him about and was too embarrassed to bring up any of it. My social anxiety literally is killing me.
4.) My cohort invited me out tonight. I told them I'd go, but then I felt really socially awkward and overwhelmed and left. I just wanted to come home to be alone and daydream. Now I feel guilty and am worried they won't like me.
For those of you who don't know, I am a new doctoral student at a University I will not name. I have no idea if I can make it through my program or not, but will try like hell to make a contribution to science. Between losing sleep from DD-ing, over-analyzing (because I am constantly reliving and rerunning) social interactions, and losing focus in class to DD-ing...I don't know if I can do this.
All I want to do is come home and daydream and not do any homework or reading at all. I am completely overwhelmed. Please send your support. I am in desperate need of support from those who understand MD.