a new word for the hand thing

[Poopsie Holbrook]

I got a wild hair to do a search on my problem of daydream and involuntary hand movement. I found links on maladaptive daydreaming. yeah a name for it, I identify with all the symptoms just too bad not much research on it. I've done it my whole life, even as a baby. when I day dream I'm gone totally in the movie in my head and I move my hands. I can't see my hands or much anything else. but sometimes the noise of my fingers rubbing together "wakes" me up. Sometimes I even let out a squeek. My mother says as a baby I'd make a noise that sounded like a quick "niga niga niga" she has a story of being embarrassed at a child support hearing walking past a black family feeling like she just couldn't properly explain its just a noise she makes". I does mess me up on activities at home. I used to have a cat that would tap my hand when I got stuck in a daydream. god I miss that cat. in school I would sit on my hands so the other kids wouldn't see them and make fun of me more. the daydreams never bothered me but recently I got pregnant and also a horrid divorce. My husband cheated on me a lot , so my daydreams took a dive to imagining violent and degrading things done to him. the baby is my new boyfriends who's really perfect for me and sucks now I have trust issues. He also works nights and I work days so left home by myself on weekdays leaves time to daydream. I'm still so angry over the ex and the daydreams are way beyond healthy. The worst part is being worried about the baby. the daydreams leave me with breathlessness and accelerated heart rate with the pregnancy thats just worse. I've left my friends behind thanks to the POS military husband that dumped me far from them and any family. also no license or car. so alone is bad now.

[Poopsie Holbrook]

your very young and I know it seems painful but really its small compared to what can really hurt. I was married for 6 years and thought that was who I'd spend my life with only to find out it was all a big fake lie. He cheated the whole time. the level of betrayal and hate I feel is just overwhelming. I went thru a miscarriage all alone while he was in on deployment and when I talk to his pregnant mistress and confront him he rubs my lack of pregnancy in my face. only consolation now is soon as that girl found out he had no money to give her suddenly its not his baby. and I am now pregnant after being with my boyfriend for 4 months, no fertility drugs. course now I have no respect for the military and straight up told my boyfriend he ever joins up I'll leave.

[Jennifer]

Welcome to Wild Minds, Ms. Tabitha.

I am SO very sorry to hear about your struggles, and especially your divorce. Breakups hurt sooo badly. I just broke up with my boyfriend about 12 days ago, and it literally makes me throb in pain. I’ve been depressed ever since we split up. And just knowing that it wasn’t my fault makes it worse; it lets me know that I had to stand there and let him leave me and blame me. And I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through it to. I’m here if you want to talk. =) I know how it feels to get your heart broken, and it is like going through Hell. It hurts so bad! Even though I’m only 15, I am here for you. J Us MDers need to stick together! Through thick and thin. :P

Anyways, I’m glad you finally discovered MD has a name. I was SO surprised to hear about it when I last found out. It surprised me to pieces! But thank God for the diagnosis!!! I hope things get better for you, and I’m sorry to hear about all of it. :/ Hard times are difficult to get through alone.

-Jennifer