I have been daydreaming for as long as i can remember. It started when I was young around the age of 6 and I used to play with dolls and things and watched tv. Later I would act out scenes with my do…

I have been daydreaming for as long as i can remember. It started when I was young around the age of 6 and I used to play with dolls and things and watched tv. Later I would act out scenes with my dolls and turned it into my own little drama show.  Later about a few years later I began to imagine I was one of the characters and imagined it in my head. Everything was perfect, any and everything you could ever imagine happened. It felt great! Until I realized I was talking to myself out loud and sometimes people heard me and gave me looks because I was talking to myself.

So that's when I began to control it and I practiced saying stuff in my mind and trying not to make facial expressions and laugh out loud. But when no one is around I let lose and talk out loud and even "act out" what my "character" would be doing in my dream world.  Then things got complicated and it wasnt enough.  I no longer envision myself I build this character that looks, talks and acts NOTHING like me.  I watched more drama like shows like Grey's anatomy and such. And whatever show i was watching i found myself just soaking in every single detail. In the movie theater, at school, in public, at family get together's.  I found myself being lost and else where daydreaming about events around me but with my own lil twist on it. I would be the one in the movies, I would be talking to my "dream friends", I was out with celebrities etc.  I began to notice that every and anything could trigger it. Even if things didn't trigger me to day dream they triggered a memory that happened in real life which was then transferred over to my "world" and caused me to daydream about it. Only i didn't find it a problem.  I liked it and welcomed it every chance i got.

Sadly i developed a certain addiction, and it began to change everything i dreamed about.  It was like a poison altering my dreams and I let it.  Every person I pass in the real world or saw on tv, was sucked into my dreams and it's like their my own person puppets.  Soon friends started popping up and i knew i had a problem.  Friends don't imagine or picture each other in those kinds of ways and it wasnt ok. So slowly one by one I blocked them out or locked them away in a part of my brain I could control for the most part.  But it was hard going to school because there's so many people to try and block out or "delete".  Taking test or reading in class is the worst. Sometimes I giggle to myself or just blank out completely and before I know it class is over and i only answered about two questions.

I started to wish my habit of daydreaming never formed, but it was too late.  Now its at an ultimate high and i hate it. I have more control over my daydreams like the aspect of it.  Everything feels and looks more real. Manipulating peoples face expressions, their words, how they look, everything.  Even tho i know its not a real apart of me always just wishes to stay there. So i daydream for hours at a time not getting anything done. 

Its very frustrating and disappointing. I just build lies on top of lies to hide the truth, and even its become a sever habit where i lie about everything. It be the simplest of things and yet i just lie anyway.  My bestfriend is the hardest person in my whole life to keep out and NOT daydream about.  Sometimes I really want her there to make it fell more real but its just not fair to her. And i know because of my other addiction theres no telling how i will picture her.  I try my best every time we hang out but it's never good enough as every moment is saved to my memory bank.  Its really funny how i have such a great memory but you talk to me while watching a show and I wont even remember your name.  

Anyway, the point to this is that i am tired of living a lie. And i wont to stop daydreaming like i do. It doesn't have to disappear completely and i don't want it too.  I just need help controlling it, because everything i have tried in the past didnt work.  If anything its only gotten worse.  And im beginning to lose hope and faith that it will ever get any better. I believe i will be stuck with this tragic habit forever, and nothing can be done now to help.  So if you have any comments or feedback as to things i should try, or have any questions. Please let me know. Im kinda desperate to try almost anything. 

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Comment by Queen Dopamine on January 5, 2014 at 2:05pm

I don't think you can just cut down on it from sheer will power. For me, it was harder to control when I lived with my parents, when I had very little responsibility. I'm not sure what your personal life is like--what other hobbies or talents you have, if you're in school, if you have a job--but those things keep you the busiest. I have a full-time job and I go to college, but that in of itself isn't enough. I deeply involved myself in fitness for awhile, then I started building up my freelance writing career. Having deadlines for other people really helped me and immersing myself in projects like fitness, or creating a home video in windows movie maker, or coloring in a coloring book really helped me cut down.

No one can make you feel a certain way about it, but the way my characters are, the way they are built up and they're so talented and famous and perfect, I eventually get sick of how awesome they are. I get jealous in a way. Im like, this isn't fair. I have talents and creativity, too. I'm going to use it. I don't spend hours on a time doing these things or devoting my time to whatever I want to be better at. I spend limited amounts of time on it (because short attention span, you know), then I go back to daydreaming for a little while. It definitely balances things out and the daydreaming helps my work and my work helps my daydreams. :)

Comment by New York dancer on January 5, 2014 at 1:46pm

Your story is almost the same as everyone else's story here. You need to surf this site, we all do what you do (in similar forms). Read articles, blogs and stuff like that here. If your looking for common ground you already arrived in the perfect place. Nothing you said shocks me, I'm like veteran to this. LOLOL

If you want, click on my name and check out some stuff I been reading and responding to.

And remember you are not alone.

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