01. Declaration of Shamelessness

[Delorean Jones]

I decided I like putting numbers in the front of titles. It satiates my usually very ornery and conflicting senses of OCD and HDAD. So yes, I stole it from Julia La Vey. She seems like a classy broad so I don't think she'd mind.

 

I write a lot, yet I want all of it to be organized and have meaning. I don't want to go up my own ass in meaning. Take myself too seriously. I don't take anything seriously.

 

Unless I'm trapped.

Have you ever been trapped? 

No one's ever truly trapped.

You can easily make your mind a labyrinth of conflicting desires, laziness and doubt, but you built it like that in the first place. With enough peaceful, purposeful and patient thought you can literally shape your brain however you want. Your brain literally gets heavier and lighter the more you add-on, the more you let go. 

 

All that doubt and harmful self-editing you might do? It's physical weight, somewhere in your brain. Specific neurons connecting and talking to each other. Wether or not a neuron fire is a digital (on or off) possibility. No gray. However, there are millions of these damn things firing off and closing down a millisecond so. That grey feeling comes from neurons firing on each other (figuratively, and literally). Actually no, that's not how it is at all. You don't really think in yes or no. The swarm of 1's and 0's happening combine to make something else entirely, this is a wrong way of looking at it. Did I trick you?

 

This much is true however. Sometimes (often) even when a neuron doesn't fire, it's resting potential, that is, likeliness of firing might change. A mere thought changes the possibility of other thoughts happening. It's wonderfully and disaster-fully complex.

 

Choice is a funny bitch though, you can easily go for the side that lost. You KNOW you should do something, but you don't. I don't really know exactly how will fits into the whole picture. Maybe these are like, really specific neurons? Closer to the part of your brain that makes actual decisions (frontal lobe).

 

I like to think of myself as a collection of sparks whizzing and storming around a fleshy yet electrically conductive... thing. It's not so much how your brain works. It's how you work.

 

notdonebuti'mimpatientandigottagodosomethingelse

 

You notice a lot of these blogs are similar? We all share a lot thought processes, prolly

 

 

[Bee]

Great post!:o) 

 

As much as the MD is a pain some times, you're right, we do have the unique ability to create and shape the environment our minds are floating around in!

[Delorean Jones]

Hmm does anyone else read over compliments several times for the buzz? : D Thank you so much for liking this it really helps me get over my own doubt and motivation issues. You rock!