I keep rewriting this entry because DDing about writing this is so much easier and exciting than actually doing it. Actually doing it involves gathering my thoughts, analyzing and acknowledging my feelings, all the while trying to choose the right words to convey it all. Fuck it.

I feel anxious. I'm afraid I'm not going to sleep tonight and I haven't been able to daydream it all away today which adds to my sleep anxiety. I'm trying not to freak out but I feel it in my chest and it…