I'm a blab. I like to tell people about their christmas presents before they open them. I like talking about the interesting things, sometimes their relevant sometimes  their secret. But i have a need to express myself, i hate bottling myself up like this. 

This has been so hidden from view even i could't see i had a secret. My sister has caught me many times talking to myself, smiling into the distance laughing at something my characters do or say. She knows i'm a little crazy, i can…

I am doing this because i feel like it will be good for me. I know i got MD through a form of protection but now i'm too bubble wrapped by it and it's suffocating. It's why i've been depressed and anxious and have fear of social events. What i do is i imagine my idealised self- i imagine people complimenting me and how great my work is- i picture fun evenings with friends i don't have (even though i do, their all just far away) I picture myself with no worry and full of happiness. I used to…